Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Dancing With the Stars Results Show:

Last night wasn’t horrible; everyone was at least decent. Without knowing how America voted Cloris caught up to Rocco’s points total.

We’re Liiiiive! Los Vevancos? Okay. We also will finally get the bottom two teams this night. Our encore tonight is Lance & Lacey’s Tango. I will reestablish the fact that I think that the encores are better than the night before; even the singer isn’t as squeaky as last night.

We have our first clip cut. Apparently we’re getting funny edits of faux-political commercials. Cody=Baby. My favorite part is the fact that they popped a pacifier on his face. I really doubt that Brooke needed to sponsor any of these commercials; she’s too good. Other videos include Cloris who wastes the production’s money and Lance being insane. Honey, it’s called “gay”.

Los Vevantos? I love the counterbalance from the Rockettes to them. Everyone’s happy now! And they’re all brothers? That’s one family of talent. And semi-decent good looks. They flamenco gorgeously. It’s a shame that there aren’t too many close-up shots. Of course they strip their jacket-shirts. It still seems like their performance is missing something, but it’s quite entertaining. If I could get a body like that by doing the flamenco, sign me up.

As a total aside, they should sell a Derek vibrating doll. Any who, the safe couples are: Susan/Toni and Lance/Lacey. The first couple in the bottom two are Rocco/Karina though we knew that off the bat.

Ballroom kids! In really bad outfits. We have the thirteen and under category. We have Mitchell and Jessica live next door from each other. Mitchell plays golf. Jessica designs clothes for dancers; I hope she didn’t design their outfits. They are doing a cha-cha to Smash Mouth. It’s oddly cute. You can’t really fault these kids. They have some training. And Jessica does splits. Len points out that Mitchell was crisp. Bruno calls the kids cheeky. Carrie Ann asks about the costumes and it turns out that she did. Ouch. Carrie Ann calls it fierce; somewhere along the line the dancing was also fierce.

Kiril & Hannah are next. The kids are from Staten Island. Apparently Kiril is the only boy in his dance class. Hannah is a gymnast. Kiril is a hockey player. These kids tackle the samba to music from “The Jungle Book”; how oddly appropriate. Carrie Ann calls the dancing sophisticated even though they are cute. Len likes the flavor and the bums of the kids. Sounds kind of Hannibal. Bruno apparently bought their products.

The judges votes are: Kiril/Hannah, Mitchell/Jessica, and Bruno’s vote is Kiril/Hannah. I swear it was the clothing design.

Ne-Yo is next singing his uber-catchy song Closer. We have some sexy backup dancers. I appreciate that Ne-Yo decided to dance most of the chorus instead of really singing it. It’s the touch for a dance reality show. I also love how their “canes” really look like thicker twirler’s batons.

We have a little bit of an explanation of the four new dances that they’re adding. Len compares the new dances to that ugly cousin that you have in the family. It’s similar, but not as noticed. Len is more excited for the performance versus the technique.

More results; the safe couples are Brooke/Derek, Cody/Julianne, Toni/Alec, Warren/Kym and Maurice/Cheryl. This means Cloris/Corky are in the bottom two.

We’re finally at the results and Cloris/Corky and Rocco/Karina are in the middle. It’s finally curtains for Rocco & Karina. Rocco’s mother applauds him. Rocco gives his goodbye speech and shakes it with Bruno. He gives a little giggling hump. Bruno is embarrassed and Rocco kind of liked it. I guess it’ll be more fodder for speculators of Rocco’s sexuality. Oh well! Four new dances next week!

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WARNING: Big Brother Spoilers!

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