Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Chuck as a Blonde (Ugh); LT, Give Up Your Man Card!

LIVE! From Hollywood, it’s Dancing With the Stars!!! The pros come out with their star partners who had a hand in designing their costumes this week. Lawrence mentioned he would try to make his mother proud, and I bet she was, because Edyta was covered from neck to toes with fur around her neck and wrists! Looked like a coat for Siberia! LT, turn in your Man Card!

Melissa & Tony are up first to do an Argentine Tango. Bruno told her last week to bring out her "man eater" persona but she’s having trouble, so Tony takes her to Wisteria Lane and they meet up with Teri Hatcher. Teri tells her to get to her romantic place, and forget the cameras...just "be where you are with your partner." It was a great dance, I’ve decided I like the Argentine Tango much more than the regular Tango (especially with the legal lifts). Len called it "fantastic" and loved Melissa’s "series of intricate steps." Len also liked the interaction, likening it to "don’t touch what you can’t afford." Bruno told her "revenge of the man eater!" and "your legs were like tools in the hands of a master." He wanted a drink. Carrie Ann liked the passion and drama of their dance and decided it’s the best Argentine Tango this season (although Gilles & Cheryl got a 30 for theirs earlier in the season). Carrie Ann and Tony seem to have put their differences behind them this year, because she told Tony that "you are the king and queen of legal lifts!" Super scores: 10-9-10=29.

Lawrence & Edyta will Waltz. LT is having a busy week, because he has to fly to Miami for a golf event for his charity. He taught Edyta to swing a golf club and we had fun watching her try to hit the ball. Lawrence laughed that "now she knows how it feels to be judged on something she’s never done." He tries his best at an accent that sounded more like a gastrointestinal problem and said, "You looked so good but your technique sucks!" He mentioned that Edyta now knows how he feels every day in practice. Edyta is trying to tell LT that the Waltz is graceful and romantic, and Lawrence quips that "LT and graceful have never been used in the same sentence." At the beginning of the dance he took off that furry coat and her dress was absolutely gorgeous, rainbow hues of blue (but still a LOT more cloth than usual for Edyta!) Their dance was nice, Lawrence was much more relaxed than he’s been. Bruno told him got romance right because at the beginning it was like watching a scene from Dr. Zhivago. Bruno said his turns were a bit clunky, though, it was "not terrible but not brilliant." (How’s that for a ass backwards compliment?) Carrie Ann praised LT, saying "I actually saw more freedom in your movement" and told him he was a great dress designer. Len offered that LT captured the grace of the dance with tenderness and elegance and "overall I was shocked at how well you performed." Len did mention that he was concerned with Edyta’s dress because during the dance part of it went over Edyta’s head. That’s when Tom quipped that "we only put Edyta in those skimpy costumes for her safety." His scores were reasonable: 7-7-7=21.

Up next are Lil’ Kim & Derek and they’ll dance a Rumba. They focus on pleasing Len this week, saying that in order to get a perfect 30 they have to please Len too. Derek is really having trouble with the choreography because he wants it "technical and entertaining" so he can please everyone, having a alance between sexy & sweet. He wants to "tone down Kim’s sexiness." (America is gonna make you turn in your Man Card too, Derek...watch it!) The pink costume that Kim talked about putting Derek in last week was disappointing - just pink accents. The dance was nice, which for Kim is saying a lot! They did have a really neat move where Kim twisted around in Derek’s arms - different. Carrie Ann looked pained, saying it was "understated but a bit underwhelming." Len began with "Be still my beating heart!" HOWEVER! He agreed with Carrie Ann, saying to go with what you know, don’t try to please one person. Len added, "Don’t worry about the sexiness in the dance - I love it, I just don’t mark it that high." Bruno said it was a good Rumba, but "taking the raunch out of Kim is like drinking a margarita without tequila!" I’m thinking that they may actually have hit it with Len this week, but no: 9-8-9=26. (If anyone has figured Len out even one bit, ‘splain it to me, okay?)

Chuck & Julianne are going to dance the Samba. Chuck is going to work really hard because "all I want is a 9!" He knows they have to impress the judges but he says "in the end it’s all about the fans." He had a concert in Alabama and fished for votes among the fans as he signed autographs. At the beginning of the dance, they made a move and I’m thinking Chuck’s hands slipped big time because Julianne pitched forward and Chuck grabbed her to pull her back - and ended up with handfuls of Julianne’s boobs. He didn’t try to wiggle his hands away and get them under her arms (where I think they should have been in the first place), just kept dancing with his hands all over her boobs. I had to replay it a few times for my hunny (he didn’t believe me at first - thank goodness for TiVo!) You can bet that will be on Entertainment Tonight or TMZ! Didn’t bother their dance one bit, which looked like a lot of fun. Len was excited, saying "Chuckie! I liked it a lot!" and saying it was Chuck’s best dance to date. Bruno was out of his seat - "You must want it so badly! You were working that butt and those hips like never before!" Carrie Ann just gave Chuck her standing "whoop" and hugged him. Backstage Chuck said that "Alabama will keep us in this competition" and was ecstatic about their scores: 9-9-9=27.

Ty & Chelsie are up next with a Waltz. Ty hasn’t been making the judges - or himself - happy the last couple of weeks but is looking forward to going back to the ballroom style because "I get to hold on again, and I’m good at holding on." He mentions that he knows the Waltz is supposed to be a romantic dance but Chelsie feels more like his adopted daughter. Chelsie invited Ty’s wife Jewell in to help, and Ty said that Jewell helped him tap into his softer side. You could tell that Ty was enjoying this dance (and holding on) - his posture was great and he was smiling again! Bruno told Ty that he had a "bigger comeback than Mickey Rourke." Last week Ty was in the gutters but this week he’s back in the game. Carrie Ann thought their connection was fantastic and Ty made a beautiful frame for his partner to dance with. She did notice that "every once in awhile you got that ‘I’m afraid to be out here’ look" but decided her dancer was back. Len was pleased for sure - "good hold, good posture, and more rise and fall than a bride’s nightie." Back to good scores: 8-8-8=24.

Shawn & Mark will do a Cha Cha. Shawn is really stressing because while she hasn’t left Los Angeles since the show started, she has to go to both New York City and Des Moines this week and won’t have time to rehearse the group dance with the group - she’ll have to learn it on her own. Mark is concerned because Shawn is really over-tired and not picking up steps as quickly as she usually does. (Now wait one minute! She’s an Olympic gymnast - how many hours does she train for that? Lots more than now! Plus, she’s freaking 17 years old!!!! I could go for DAYS at 17! Get with it, kiddo!) Their Cha Cha was to a Michael Jackson tune, "Pretty Young Thing" and Mark had on the quintissential MJ outfit, complete with sparkly white socks. Their dance was fun and I thought the best of the evening so far. Carrie Ann loved it, saying that Shawn has flawless technique and "sometimes I don’t feel like the dance comes to life - but tonight you came alive!" Len told her that the Cha Cha is a difficult dance - it is sharp and crisp and you have to blend rhythm with it and she pulled it off. Bruno called her a "cheeky little devil" and said she was flamboyant and vibrant, technically flawless and reminded him of a young Debbie Reynolds or Mitzi Gaynor. They loved the scores: 9-9-10=28.

Gilles & Cheryl are wrapping up the couples portion of the evening with the Viennese Waltz. During rehearsals, Gilles is getting the steps but being "too Latin" with his movements - sticking out his chest and stiffening his arms when he extends them, looking more powerful than the softness the dance requires. Cheryl took him to visit a synchronized swimming coach and Gilles came out in a one-piece bathing suit and white bathing cap saying the suit was "from the era of the Viennese Waltz." (He did change into a little tiny black Speedo-looking suit, which was just wonderful). He picked up the fluidity of the moves in the water and had fun, spitting water at Cheryl and doing a cannonball. I thought it was a really pretty dance. Len told him he had "lovely rotation" and did a superb job, although he needed to work a little bit on his footwork. Bruno didn’t try to hold back his French accent, telling Gilles he looked like Louis Jourdan in Gigi (which gave Gilles a great smile). Bruno told him it was "glamorous but you still managed to put some sex into it." Carrie Ann called Gilles the most graceful male dancer but nitpicked that he had to watch his posture. Their scores: 9-9-9=27.

So here’s the leader board after the judges’ scoring:
29 - Melissa & Tony
28 - Shawn & Mark
27 - Chuck & Julianne
27 - Gilles & Cheryl
26 - Lil’ Kim & Derek
24 - Ty & Chelsie
21 - Lawrence & Edyta

We’re shown clips from rehearsals of the group dance, which to me has always been much more fun than the actual dance (especially with last season's dreadful hip hop). Since Shawn can’t be there, Mark brings a life-sized cardboard cutout picture of her. Ty cracks everyone up by coming in with a long-haired wig and headband, complete with John Lennon glasses, but the choreographer/teacher tells him he’s in the "wrong era of the 60's." They’re all having a great time except for Lawrence, who looks totally confused. Ty laughs that "LT’s making this whole day fun because he ain’t having none of it." LT remarks that it’s more like "dancing with the clowns." (I have a feeling that’s why Lawrence is ‘way in the back for the dance!) The live dance was shown in black & white and was a lot of fun. Chuck looked ridiculous in a blonde Beatles wig but I give him props - at the beginning he wouldn’t have been caught dead in that. Each couple got their chance to do a little solo too. The judges got to comment but did not score the dance. Bruno had the comment of the evening, saying the boys produced a performance of sublime silliness and told Chuck "be careful - it starts with a wig and ends up with a frock!" Carrie Ann thought the girls nailed it. Len said it was fun and energetic and took him back to the 1964 when he went clubbing in London.

All in all, a fun night - the judges were a little stingier with the scores than I thought they should have been. Did you vote? I hope so - otherwise don’t complain if your favorite goes home tonight!

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