Ribs are Better, Gilles & Cheryl Get HOT on the Floor - Literally!

The intensity is ramping up! Five couples remain - who will make it into the semifinals? We’ll find out LIVE! From Hollywood!


The show opens with some pros dancing a medley of ballroom dances. Nice to see Jonathan and Anna, Lacey, Dmitri, Kym, and Louis VanAmstel. It took me past the dance to remember who Louis was, I haven’t seen him in ages. They all looked wonderful (and was Anna wearing a wig or did she cut her long hair that short?)

First up, Shawn & Mark in the Ballroom Round dancing the Quickstep. Shawn is getting stressed because of the speed of the Quickstep - but Mark is a great teacher with her, knowing when to push and when to back off (like when she’s snuffling). I really liked their dance a lot. The judges did too! Len said it was fun, joyful, and carefree. "For the first time, I think we saw your personality." He mentioned she didn’t look afraid. But, Mr. Cranky Pants didn’t stop there and tsk-tsk’d them for breaking the hold during the dance. Bruno yelped "you danced like Sporty Spice!" He noted her great footwork, saying "yes, you broke the hold but it was great fun." Carrie Ann was complimentary as well, saying this was Shawn’s best dance ever. She did say "I have to take a point off because you broke the rules" regarding the hold. (I understand that the judges are looking for the dance as it’s meant to be danced, but I don’t think the judges should "punish" the stars for choreography that their pros make them do - i.e., "breaking the hold" in the Quickstep. That always kinda bugged me, they should be judged on their steps and all, not on the choreography which is out of their control. Okay, off the soapbox). Great scores: 9-9-9=27. (Does that mean she may have gotten a 30 if Mark didn't screw up the choreography?)

Ty & Chelsie will dance the Argentine Tango. Ty likes this dance, saying "It has everything I like. It’s strong, it’s serious, I get to hang on to Chelsie, and I can do lifts." They video taped their practice and Chelsie had Ty take the video home to watch. I’m impressed with his work ethic but that robe! Leopard spots on brown! Must have been a present from Len.....During the dance, they stood back to back and Chelsie flicked her leg back, making me wonder how many times she caught his nads during practice. The judges tried to be gentle, but it’s getting to the point that his dancing flaws are coming through. Bruno said "you won’t let anybody down with your strength and determination," but added that Ty stepped the dance instead of gliding through it. Carrie Ann said "this show is about what you do with what you have, and you’ve come so far." BUT she noted his "little stumble." Len said, "some of Bruno’s comments are why I’m on medication. You captured the essence and flavor of the dance. You’re not a natural performer and actor and for me you’ve produced your best dance." Great scores, but not this late in the season: 8-9-8=25.

Up next are Lil’ Kim & Derek and they’ll be dancing a Waltz. We know that the slow dances are a struggle for Kim, she likes to shake that thang. It looked really nice and delicate, though - Derek is one helluva choreographer. Carrie Ann said that Kim has the ability to make everything look like it feels great but noted a "lot of missteps" and told her she’s got to extend her hands all the way. Len explained the Waltz is a challenging dance for Kim because "you can’t show razzamatazz." He then said "I was so shocked at the quality of that dance." Bruno got very close to crossing the line saying "you tried to be a lady but you’re more comfortable being a tramp." (I knew what he meant, and most of us did, but he really has to watch how he words things!) Bruno tried to explain he meant that Kim didn’t feel as comfortable as she usually is. Thankfully Samantha didn’t push that little remark backstage, where Derek said "the Salsa is coming, and she’s bringing the bionic booty back!" Their scores: 8-9-8=25.


Gilles and Cheryl’s ballroom dance is the Fox Trot. You know they’re really taking license with the editing and showing more Cheryl the taskmaster footage and none of the fun they’re having - "That wasn’t a heel. I hate that. You look like a monster." They seem to promote Cheryl being a slave-driving teacher as much as they pushed Karina as the sneer queen. Cheryl takes Gilles to see professionals at a Fox Trot competition so he gets the idea. It was very smooth and romantic, so obviously Cheryl’s browbeating is working. He blew a kiss to Carrie Ann during the dance (does that get him a 10, Carrie Ann?) Len said that he loved the interpretation of the dance but Gilles needed to straighten his legs. Bruno raved that Gilles’ performance was "in a class of its own, classic - with a sense of theater!" Carrie Ann thought Len was "crazy" because she loved the way Gilles finished his lines and said "a performance like that will take you to the semi finals!" Obviously the blown kiss worked: 10-9-10=29.


Melissa & Tony will be dancing the Viennese Waltz to close the ballroom round. Whatever "treatment" Melissa is getting is working, and the pain is manageable. At least she didn’t get the Quick Step for this round, and the Viennese Waltz will be easier on her ribs! I loved the choreography, I think Tony is one of my favorites for that. Tony wanted her to concentrate on her feet to make Len happy this week. Bruno told her she was "lighter than air - very balletic." Carrie Ann complimented her fluidity in movement. Len loved the sense of romance and the extension of her arms, but said "I’m still not a fan of your feet." Good scores: 9-9-9=27.


We find out that Genya was voted out of the "new professional dancer" competition (Too bad! He was so damn cute!) Tom announces that Afton will be dancing with Cody Linley, Anna will dance with Maurice Green, and Mayo gets Lisa Rinna. Samantha interviews them all backstage. Lisa is excited, and Cody says they’re doing really well, so watch out! Maurice says he wants to make Cheryl (his previous partner) proud as well as help Anna win. Mayo admits that he’s nervous, and Tom laughs that "you should talk to Len, I hear he has medication."

The pros come out to dance a Latin medley to show us how it’s supposed to look. We find out that Louis VanAmstel did all the choreography and he’s given his kudos, and rightfully so. The judges talk about the upcoming dances from the stars, with Len making the best comments: "Ty and the Rumba, oh my!" and "If Kim can’t do the Salsa I’m gonna pop off and pickle me walnuts." (If anyone has any idea what that might mean - uh, never mind. I don’t want to know). We also find out that each star will have to perform a 15-second solo during the Latin dances.

Shawn and Mark will dance the Paso Doble. Mark says that Shawn is so sweet she may have a hard time with this one, and I agree. She’s very young and just too cute to be believable in the Paso. Can Mark work his magic? She can’t seem to stop giggling and get the emotion of the dance, so Mark reminds her of her "Olympic face" and the intensity of right before a competition. He tries to get all bullish on her, showing her his bull-killing moves, which only sends her into more giggle fits. Whatever they did, It worked - she looked tough and did a great job. Carrie Ann said that Shawn "glared" at her and scared her, and that Shawn "delivered the drama." Len liked the solo and the dance, calling it clean and precise, but turned back into Mr. Cranky Pants and said "it wasn’t over exciting." Bruno was happy that Shawn "showed the killer instinct and scored big." Backstage, Shawn said that Mark was trying to make her mad to help her attitude along. They loved the scores: 10-9-10=29.

Up next are Ty & Chelsie to Rumba. Chelsie tells him it involves some Cuban hip action and Ty deadpans "I’m pretty sure we know I’m not Cuban." During the dance, he was actually moving his hips (even though it looked like there was a stick up his butt). His solo at the end was performed in front of his wife, Jewel, and consisted of stripper-like gyrating. He got a kiss at the end of it although it seemed that Jewel was laughing too hard to really kiss him. Len started off saying that the dance had charm, looked sweet, and he was moving his hips, but - "the first dance you were a peacock and now you’re a feather duster." Bruno told him he is the most likeable star that’s been on the show, but not to confuse likeability with ability - "I want Mario Lopez and you were Kenny Mayne." Carrie Ann just wished she could score Ty on how much he’s improved. Samantha had to ask about his solo backstage, and Ty said "I’m hoping my solo pays dividends later." He really is a funny, nice guy but the worst dancer of the couples left. Their scores: 7-7-7=21.

Lil’ Kim & Derek will Salsa, and Kim is planning to shake her stuff like a salt shaker "or a pepper shaker - that’s hot, right?" She wants to bring heat and her bionic booty and really impress the judges. Her solo was a bit uncomfortable with her writhing on the floor, but she definitely brought it and shook throughout the Salsa. Bruno was happy, saying "you’re in your element - your booty can do no wrong!" Carrie Ann told her that "I’ve never seen a booty shake like that." Len told them that Derek wasn’t even really needed out there with Kim, but that she got so into the dance it looked like she lost a little control. (I thought I saw Lil' Kim on the wrong leg at the beginning.) Great scores, though: 9-9-9=27.

Everyone is looking forward to Gilles & Cheryl’s sexy Latin-lover Rumba. I wasn’t really impressed with the see-through shirt (either wear a shirt or not, don’t tease!) His solo at the beginning was a bit weird, but when they got into the dance, hoo boy! Hot hot HOT! Dancing to "Sexual Healing" no less! At the end, they rolled around on the floor and looked like they were about to .... well, get busy - they sold it to me! At the end, they showed Gilles’ wife applauding with a big smile on her face, so I guess she didn’t buy it (lucky for Gilles!) Carrie Ann said Gilles delivered but she found the solo a bit odd and self-indulgent. Len said it looked fantastic to him but he "didn’t like the silly walk or rolling about the floor." Bruno said it "ended like she was ravaged by a savage" although he noted it was a "bit uneven." Samantha actually said a funny - "to the folks at home, after you’ve gotten out of that cold shower, call in." Good scores: 9-9-9=27.

Melissa & Tony will finish off the night with a Samba. Tony told her that the celebrities have to do a solo, and Melissa protested "I’m not a celebrity, can we get off on a technicality?" No such luck, and her solo was just fine. She seemed really embarrassed after the dance, and I didn’t hear why, but after some checking I guess she was saying "my boob came out!" I was wondering why Tony looked so giddy. It was obviously well-hidden - although I’m sure if it had really popped out they would have had to stop and put it back! Len loved it, saying "you should 100% be here next week." Bruno told Melissa the dance made him happy to be there watching it. Carrie Ann got everyone on edge saying that "at this point in the competition, I have to point out the flaws." (Pause for dramatic effect). "Take the week off. There were none!" They were ecstatic about their scores: 10-10-10=30. Tony really deserves to be in the semi finals, finals, and maybe even win. He really is doing great with all he had to put up with this season - someone starting 3 weeks late, being judged on a run-through practice because of injury.

So, here are the standings after the judges’ scores:
57 - Melissa & Tony
56 - Shawn & Mark
56 - Gilles & Cheryl
52 - Lil’ Kim & Derek
46 - Ty & Chelsie

Did everyone vote? Who will get into the semi finals, ever closer to the shot at the beautiful (*rolling eyes*) Mirrorball Trophy? We’ll find out tonight!