Tuesday, November 24, 2009

And the Mirrorball Trophy Goes To ... Donny & Kym!!!!!!

Woohoo! It’s the Finale of Dancing With the Stars! And it’s LIVE!!!!

And it’s two hours! (This is the Filler Show, actually!)

We meet all our dimissed stars from the season and their pros again - they line up on two sides and the three finalists go through the line slapping high fives. Kelly takes forever because she has to hug everyone.

We get the obligatory review of last night, and during Len’s comments about Kelly’s Argentine Tango, we see a shot of the back of Miss Piggy’s (of Muppet fame) head backstage. And then .... nothing moves. Tom then looks sheepish and says “Did we tell you this show is live?” Obviously the tape jammed or something! After commercial Tom says “you weren’t paying attention, so here it is again!” and it starts over once more. This time no Piggy! Wonder if they cut it out or it didn’t belong there to begin with?

Okay, here’s Whitney Houston. She looks healthy again but not very perky, actually. Whatever. Now we see another clip of the Losers Club, an elite group of celebrities that were voted off the show first. Jeff Ross, Penn, and Kenny Mayne tell us all about it. Jeff Ross comes out to welcome Ashley Hamilton into the Club and gives him a sparkly jacket “to represent your suckiness.” Ross introduces Ashley’s dance with Edyta as “dancing to Simply the Best, it’s simply the worst.” During the dance Ashley dumps Edyta on the floor and goes to dance with Jeff Ross. The both rip open their jackets and shirts at the end and we get to see Jeff Ross’ wonderfully flabby tummy - *gag.* Ashley then jumps onto the desk and looks to be getting v-e-r-y frisky with Len and then kisses Bruno. (He should have been one of the dancers on the American Music Awards with Adam Lambert, maybe everyone wouldn’t be in such a tizzy about it).

Our next clip replays the first three weeks of the competition. Then we get to see Kathy Ireland and Tony (and she still sucks royally), Macy Gray and Jonathan (and I’m still shuddering, this woman is freaking scary!), Debi Mazar and Maks, who do a Tango and look pretty good (of course, after those first two, Jeff Ross would have looked good!)

The next clip reviews the flu epidemic throughout the stars, as well as the injuries. Tom Delay and Cheryl will be able to dance the Texas Two-Step now that his feet have healed (and he still looks like he’s kept the weight off). Before the commercial, we see that Miss Piggy will indeed be part of the show, and she’s in her dressing room with Maks in a Speedo or black undies (who cares? they look damn good on him!) rubbing Piggy’s shoulders.

So here are Tom Delay and Cheryl. He’s pretty sad. I’m glad his feet are better though or we would have missed this! Oh, the horror of not being able to see Tom dance again! (Am I laying it on thick enough?)

Weeks 4 and 5 are reviewed next. Chuck Lidell and Anna T come out to dance, I think it’s a Paso Doble? Mark Dacascos and Lacey come out too and look pretty good - I really liked Mark. He does a lot of flips and during their dance then Lacey runs off and Chuck comes up and they do a simulated fight till the girls come back and “break it up.” Samantha asks the four of them “if there were a real fight who would win?” and everyone points to Lacey!

We get a clip of "Coach" Adam Corolla, who reminds us that the last time a man won this competition Len was in the Army, Carrie Ann was in diapers, and Bruno was still in the closet! He tells Donny that he’s “our only hope” and then in walk Kelly and Mya. Corolla gets into Donny’s face about cavorting with the enemy. He chases the girls away and takes Donny’s “man liner” (eyeliner - looking at a photo of Donny's "Atom Ant" dance) away from him. After an alleged pep talk he gets down on a knee to pray and Donny takes off.

Natalie Coughlin & Alec dance next, and it’s a Rumba and looks good. That was Natalie’s strength as far as the dancing went but she never had the “attitude” to go with it. More reviews and then Melissa Joan Hart and Mark come out to dance the Samba. It looks like fun, and I like the fringy yellow-purple dress!

Oh, good grief. Chloris Leachman, Jerry Springer, and Steve Wozniak are going to dance? Now THAT is scary!

The judges give us their opinions on each of the three finalists. And Len ends their opinions with “there can be only one.” Hey! That’s Duncan MacLeod’s line! Our three finalist couples are introduced to much fanfare. Kelly offers her retrospect and calls it the most fantastic journey of her life. She thanks Louis with tears and he sniffles that he’s proud of her. We’ll get the Waltz out of them - of course, it’s Kelly’s strength. She’s not trying to look romantic, though, she’s smiling throughout. I think she’s happy it’s over, really - it’s her last dance. Len says that he’ll miss her the most of all the celebrities on the show. We can barely hear him because the audience is screaming and chanting “Kelly! Kelly!” Bruno tells her that she may have come from “rock and roll royalty” but she’s earned her place as a ballroom princess. Carrie Ann gets very sniffly and says that in all the seasons, no one has touched her like Kelly has. Kelly manages not to get teary - but Louis has tears running down his cheeks. How sweet!

Mya & Dmitry comment on their season thus far. They come out to dance their Jive that makes me think of Cheryl - Mya looks just like her with that wig on and dances this very well also. Bruno calls her “sharp, slick - you never miss a beat.” Carrie Ann says every season there’s someone that sets the pace, and that would be Mya. She calls Mya a “star.” Len offers that “we’ve had a few ups and downs but I’ve never doubted your talent.” Will they give her first place again?

Donny & Kym will wrap it up. They recall laughing a lot during rehearsals, but all the hard work also. They’ve become very good friends and Kym is now an “honorary Osmond.” They’ll dance an Argentine Tango. Ooh my, that outfit of Kym’s is something! I think she stole it from Edyta - it’s “open” at her left hip (there’s a clear kind of material holding it together). Carrie Ann begins by saying she’s glad they chose this dance to dance again because “it’s artistry in motion.” Len thinks Donny’s been mostly good, sometimes bad, and one dance was “pretty ugly.” But “it’s not how you start, but how you finish, and you finished strong.” Bruno calls him “the great performer.” He tells Donny “you’ve reached the dark side and you do it well.” The judges then huddle to come up with their scores.

Backstage, Samantha talks to the stars. Kelly says she doesn’t know what she’s going to do with herself now, not seeing Louis everyday “so I think I might stalk him.” Mya agrees with Kelly that the routine is over and that will be strange. Donny says this experience ranks up at the top with everything he’s done in his career. The judges are ready to tell us their scores: third is Kelly & Louis and they get 26; next are Mya & Dmitry!!!! and they get 28, leaving Donny in shock that he and Kym get first and 30 points. Will it be enough to put him over the top? Will this make everyone on the message boards stop harping about how the judges decided long ago that Mya will be the winner and they’re fixing it to be that way? (Of course, the conspiracy theorists will say that the judges picked Donny & Kym to throw off the suspicious, and Mya will win anyway....)

Louie Vito and Chelsie come out to dance - and they’re dancing to “Puppy Love” - which Donny will sing! Donny’s still got the voice at least. They begin the dance all romantic and sweet and then the tempo speeds up, Louie gets down to the wife beater shirt and Chelsie rips off her skirt to show off her mini and Louie flips all over the ballroom floor.

Before the commercial, there are clips of Michael Ervin and Jerry Rice’s upcoming competition. Michael wants to beat Jerry somehow - they’ve each won three Super Bowls. They have a special “Mirrorball Ring” to give the winner. They will dance the Paso Doble, and they’re doing it to the NFL them song. Michael & Anna D and wearing Dallas Cowboy blue and white, and Jerry & Anna T and wearing San Francisco 49er red and gold. The judges then have to decide who gets the ring, and they say that Michael came game ready so he is the winner. The judges are yelling, though, that they’re not done, and they give Jerry a ring too, saying he won “the battle of the bodies.” (Think it was set up a bit, do ya?)

Before the commercial Miss Piggy comes backstage and butts in on Samantha, who tells Piggy to “quit hogging the spotlight” and Piggy gives her one of her famous “hi-ya!” chops. There were times I wish that would have happened during the season....but at least this year the crazy hairstylist wasn’t around!

Aaron Carter & Karina come out to do their Mambo to the Muppet Show theme (and it’s nice to see Animal playing the drums again). Tom asks what Aaron has taken away from the show, and Aaron says he’s going to inspire young people to “do the right thing.” (Huh? Ballroom dancing gave him that impetus?)

Miss Piggy is interviewing Chloris, Jerry and Woz backstage, asking them what makes them think they can beat Joanna Krupa - “miss skinny minnie here.” Chloris tells her to back off, she doesn’t want to get the swine flu. Jerry just wants to be vertical at the end, and he doesn’t eat pork. (Piggy’s not impressed). It’s kinda lame, but cute all the same.

After a another review, we get a competition Mambo with Jerry & Edyta, Steve & Karina, Chloris & Corky, and Joanna & Derek. Chloris & Corky are told to leave first, and Jerry & Edyta are gone next (how on earth can Steve Wozniak stay in? Oh, I see how, he’s doing the worm.) Tom is narrating, and as Steve & Karina get told to leave, he says “in what appears to be a setup, Joanna & Derek are declared the winners.” They end their dance with Joanna doing “the move” to Derek instead this time.

Whitney Houston comes out to sing again, and I could care less, but our pros are out to dance, so I have to slow down the TiVo for that! Ooh, Anna T isn’t dancing with Jonathan this time! - oh, wait, at the end when they all switch partners, the hubby and wife are together. Backstage, Samantha interviews the “fallen comrades” about the finalists. The couples are out on the stage, and we get to find out who gets third place. And it’s ... Kelly & Louis. She’s very grateful to the fans for keeping her in the competition this long. Tom tells her that’s she’s grown the most throughout the season. Kelly & Louis go out for their final bow and she runs over to kiss her Dad. While Kelly was really a joy to watch, she really didn’t deserve to win the treasured Mirrorball Trophy. But can Donny pull it out with his charisma? Or will the fans give it to the better dancer, Mya?

After the commercial, we go through the music again to find out who wins. It’s Donny & Kym! I’m happy for Kym too, she’s a great dancer & choreographer. Donny grabs his wife out of the audience and brings her over to celebrate. Mya is gracious in defeat. Tom goes to give Donny the trophy and his whole family has joined him onstage. After Donny hugs Mya Tom presents him with the trophy. Donny then runs to grab Marie out of the audience too - and just think, he’s got bragging rights now!

So congrats to “Mr. Entertainer” Donny Osmond, this year’s champ. Mya really didn’t connect with the fans or else she would have had that glittery gob of glass for her mantle. And until Season 10, keep on dancing!

Monday, November 23, 2009

We Finally Get to the Awaited Freestyles - But ... They're Not All That!

Tonight one of our three finalists will dance away with the Mirrorball Trophy! Who will it be? We’ll find out - LIVE!!!!

The stars are starting with a clean slate - they have to perform three new dances each. Mya comes down the steps in an interesting getup - boy shorts and a bikini top with a long coat-looking thing. Paso Doble, I bet.

Kelly & Louis begin the dancing tonight. Kelly didn’t think she’d be able to do the show, but wanted to show people that she’d grown up. She says that the Charleston was a breakthrough for her. In practice, Carrie Ann came in to give Kelly some pointers (I guess Len isn’t spreading himself thin with all the couples this year) - and they’re starting with the Argentine Tango. She’s trying to teach Kelly to be intense but Kelly said “she made me so uncomfortable.” It looks great - her attitude is right and he dancing is pretty darn good too! It was really great - and I agree with Carrie Ann, she’s made the most of her dancing experience and really improved the most. Len says she epitomizes what the competition is about but through hard work she’s made it through to the finals. Bruno says she is the revelation of this season. He likes that she mastered the embellishments of the Argentine Tango, but complained about her hand getting loose at times. Carrie Ann offers that after seeing what she was struggling with in rehearsal, she is very proud of Kelly and likes the routine. Their scores: 9-9-8=26. Louis praises Kelly saying that she came out tonight without making a mistake, and Louis had to keep from giggling because he was so excited.

Mya & Dmitry will dance the Paso Doble (reminds me of Mel B’s outfit, I knew I thought I’d seen that before). Mya was very nervous the first night, but she loved their routine, until Len got at them. Mya knew Len would be tough, but she didn’t expect that and neither did Dmitry. She felt their big break came during the Samba (it was just because of Dmitry’s cheezy moustache!) Len came into the rehearsal to help Mya & Dmitry, saying “it’s the grumpy judge.” He wanted them to be stronger, saying Mya is too subdued. He said “So far, good has been good enough, but you have to be great now.” They’re dancing to “We Will Rock You” and it looks pretty good - but there’s not a lot of hold. Wonder if Len will chew them out for that? Wow, there are many, many alumni of DWTS in the audience, all cheering wildly as they should. Bruno liked it! “The power of Mya unleashed! Fearless, flambouyant!” Carrie Ann dubs Mya “the Queen of the Paso Doble.” Len says the pressure is immense but Mya came out like the “no stress express.” He says his favorite Paso of all the seasons was Mel B and Maks, and “this is right up there with it.”

Before we get the scores, we see a clip of Michael Ervin and Jerry Rice doing trash talking - Michael challenged Jerry to a dance-off and that will be tomorrow night. This I gotta see! Their scores come up: 10-10-10=30.

Here come Donny & Kym. Donny says that he’s been performing for 46 years and he drew on that for his opening dance, the Foxtrot, but watching the clip he yelled at himself for his posture. He decides that their Argentine Tango was his breakthrough - Kym liked the part where he ran his hand along her leg, and Donny said “that’s the sleeping on the couch part. I’m still sleeping on the couch for that one.” During their Quickstep, Donny was sick and the room was spinning but he kept smiling. Bruno comes in to help Donny & Kym, saying that Donny can win it, but he doesn’t want Donny to win it for who he is, but for his dancing. Bruno stressed Donnny’s extension of his arms and the fact that he bends a lot and needs to watch his posture. They will dance a Cha Cha, and Donny listened to Bruno, his arms look great! Donny is having great fun with this dance but it’s just not the sharpest. I really like Donny but he doesn’t deserve to win DWTS - but he does deserve a side award, like the equivalent of “Miss Congeniality” during the Miss America pageants. Carrie Ann begins by asking “where did those hips come from?” Len calls him “Ding Dong Donny” and said it was a proper Cha Cha and gives Bruno credit for his assistance. Bruno points out that Donny is a professional, saying that “I shouted at him and he just shut up and gave me no attitude” but took it to heart and worked harder. Their scores: 9-9-9=27. Samantha brings up Marie’s doll dance freestyle and I know that Marie wanted to curl up and die - no one wants to remember that fiasco!

Tom tells us that the couples will next dance side by side with the same choreography. They will dance a Viennese Waltz, Samba and Jive. They call it the “Megamix.” Nick Kosovich is the choreographer for this dance. Kelly is freaking out because Mya and Donny have dancing experience, and Nick is going really fast for her. Donny is saying that he’s a quarter of a century older than Kelly and he’s trying to do the same stuff - and Kym offers that both Mya and Kelly could be Donny’s daughters. He’s not too thrilled with that one! The couples will be scored 1, 2 or 3. The Viennse Waltz is pretty, they’re pretty much in sync. During the Samba, Kelly looks tense and forgets to have a happy face. They get right into the Jive and it’s fun! Len says that he thought it would be so easy to judge with all three couples out there, but no. “It shows how close you all are.” Bruno calls it the last hurdle - he liked Mya’s Samba, Kelly’s improvement (although he says it looked like she was going through a spin dryer for a bit) and he told Donny that at times “I thought you were one of the professionals.” Carrie Ann agreed with the guys, saying Donny was really keeping up, and Mya made her hips go “boom boom!” She loved Kelly’s grace in the Waltz. The dance will be judged 30 points for first, 28 for second, and 26 for third. Backstage, Kelly says if they’re not having fun out there, all the hard work wasn’t worth it. Donny offers that it’s bittersweet because “it’s the end.” Kelly & Louis get third, Donny & Kym get second, and Mya & Dmitry get first.

The anticipated Freestyles are next! Brooke Burke, Helio Castroneves, and Drew Lachey offer their comments on the Freestyle, saying you can’t play it safe, you have to put every trick into it, have fun, and leave it on the floor. I loved the clips of their Freestyles, especially Drew & Cheryl doing “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.” It’s still my favorite after all these years!

Tom says the Freestyle most times determines who wins the competition. Kelly & Louis are up first and her foot is killing her - she can practice in heels for about 10 minutes and has to ice it because she’s torn cartilage in her big toes. Louis shows Kelly a move where he does a handstand and puts his feet on the wall, and Kelly says “You’re out of your f***ing mind! Why am I doing that? I’m not doing that. I’ve got a skirt on, it will go over my head. That does not look graceful. I’m gonna look like a beached whale upside down.” She’s determined that she will prove that her dancing ability is good enough for her to win. At least she’s remembering to have fun, she’s really smiling great! The choreography is good but it looks, I dunno - clunky or something. She really is beaming after the dance, I feel great for her no matter how they judge her! Bruno says “one thing is for sure - you never looked more beautiful than tonight.” Carrie Ann says the Freestyle is all about seeing how far they’ve come, and Kelly is a survivor. Len says he loved it, because even through her little mistakes, but she kept singing and laughing through all of it “and I thoroughly enjoyed it.” Backstage, Kelly is still cracking up, saying that “one of the lifts looked more like Louis pooped me out.” Their scores: 8-8-8=24. That gives them a 76 for the night.

Mya & Dmitry
know that they can win or lose on the Freestyle. They try and decide what they want to do and Dmitry suggests something on the order of Hairspray but Mya thinks that might be a little safe - until they start practicing. They’re actually doing some major dancing - no real tricks, one lift! I guess they’re really going for the judges’ scores. It is a really good routine but not all "that" but it is good dancing! Carrie Ann says “high energy, fun, but not outstanding to me.” Len is next, agreeing with Carrie Ann. “There was a sameness about it. I was waiting for something to happen but nothing did.” Bruno says they had all the vivacity of the era, right on the beat, but “I expected something more spectacular.” The scores are better than I thought they would get after those comments: 9-9-9=27. They have 87 for their total tonight.

So Donny & Kym can really kick some ass in their Freestyle after those scores! Donny explains that “I saw Marie” comment from last week - he says after Kym got tripped up in her dress, then he got tripped up, then he spotted Marie and saw the look on her face and it messed him up more. During rehearsal, Marie and Jonathan try to distract Donny, by blowing smoke at them and Marie yelling “look at my face!” They will do a Broadway routine, where Donny’s personality can show through. They’re practicing lifts, and during one try Kym kicks Donny in the head and says “you have to keep your head back.” Donny admits “I know that now!” He says he has to win the trophy, “Because if you had a sister named Marie and she was gonna rub it in your face for the rest of your life, you’d want to win it too.” They do great dancing and fun lifts - and Donny doesn’t get smacked in the head. Len begins by saying “that was truly an absolute show stopper.” He also adds that “judging from Bruno’s noises during the dance, he’s gonna shout so I’m going to move over.” Bruno does yell. “You’re right! Mr. Show Business at his best!” Carrie Ann brings up Drew & Cheryl and Shawn & Mark’s Freestyles, and tells Donny “welcome to the Hall of Fame, buddy!” Will they get a perfect score? 10-10-10=30. They have 85 for the night.

After the judges' scores, here is the leaderboard:
87 - Mya & Dmitry
85 - Donny & Kym
76 - Kelly & Louis

So who wins? Yeah, Donny & Kym had the best Freestyle out of all the couples, but it still didn't measure up to past seasons. Mya is the better dancer, but will Donny’s personality win out? Will Kelly’s hard work and earnest attitude get her the most votes? Tomorrow night, the couples dance one more dance for the judges’ votes and we’ll find out who wins the fantastic Mirrorball Trophy! And it will be LIVE!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Fans Come Through for the Wild Child and the Entertainer! (We Knew Mya Was Going to Make It)

What have your votes decided? We have four couples left, and only three will survive this night - and it’s an hour show! Full of filler, but it will be ...

LIVE!!!!! From Hollywood! This is Dancing With the Stars!

Len wants to see Mya & Dmitry’s Salsa again. “It was hot, it was fast, and don’t forget her tutti fruitti bootie.” Len is listening to Bruno too much, sassy boy! Although is it me or did their dance seem a whole lot longer than the other three couples’ dances?

Kelly is laughing down the hallway with Louis that she totally forgot her solo during the Rumba and made it up as she went along. In the confessional, Kelly says she’s going to go out on a good night and not worry “is my dress gonna rip, is my boob gonna fall out” and Louis looks at her chest and says “in this dress? Hmmmm, getting close.” A recap of Joanna’s evening has her confessing that with all the nerves and adrenaline she’s surprised she did so well. Joanna was very happy about Carrie Ann’s remark that “I hope you’re here for the final.” Donny & Kym’s wardrobe malfunction is highlighted and they’re both upset in the confessional, where Donny says he’s mad that he blew it. After his next two dances, he felt much better. Mya & Dmitry have a good laugh in the confessional about Len “talking about my booty.”

I notice that Mya & Dmitry have changed clothes, into their Waltz costumes. What was wrong with the Cha Cha outfits? The kids getting a draft? Tom and Samantha talk to each of the couples - “have your fans saved you?” Then, with an evil grin, Tom says “The first couple who has received a place in the finals ... will be revealed shortly.”

Filler clip comes up with the stars talking about each other, no trash talking now, everything is complimentary. Backstage, the stars interview with Samantha. Kelly says that last night was the best night so far, she had fun and even if she goes home she will be proud of her accomplishments. Joanna was thrilled to get into the semifinals. Mya admits that there were mistakes last night, and she had a wardrobe malfunction - and then Donny waves his hand, saying “let’s talk about a wardrobe malfunction, shall we?”

Dancers are coming up - from the Weinstein Company’s upcoming film “Nine.” Looks kind of erotic. One guy and a bunch of women in flimsy dresses and garter-belted stockings. And my, the lead lady has some major hooters on her!

Here comes Alicia Keys. It’s nice that a singer shows up that I know and like. I think she brought her own dancers, though.


The pressure is mounting for our stars, and strange things can happen! We see them all taking turns pantomiming singing “Under Pressure.” Actually, I like this! They should do that more often. Tom quips that “apparently pressure doesn’t improve lip synching skills.”

Joanna & Derek and Mya & Dmitry, as last night’s highest-scoring couples, get to find out their fates first. Mya & Dmitry are in the finals, but Joanna & Derek have to find out ... later. However, Tom says they’re in jeopardy. Are they in the bottom two or is this just the catch phrase this year?

Leona Lewis will sing now. Beautiful voice! Ooh, the floor is full of smoke and four guys rise from the smoke to dance. Not our pros, though. Where are our pros?

After a backstage interview with Mya & Dmitry and Joanna & Derek, we get to find out the fates of the remaining two couples. The next couple in the finals is ... Donny & Kym! Yeah, his personality and fan base kept him in (all the women my age who had his posters on their walls).

Melissa Rycroft, who had to leave last season because of broken ribs, is back to dance the Hustle with Tony to the BeeGees. After the commercials, the two remaining BeeGees come out to sing. Wow, the judges are up shaking their booties! They’re singing “You Should Be Dancing.” Out come Cheryl, Tony, and Chelsie with some male dancer I haven’t seen before. So where’s Melissa? Considering the BeeGees are celebrating their 50th anniversary, they still sound pretty good. Okay, now Cheryl is dancing with the other guy and her comes Melissa with Tony. Chelsie joins them for the end of the dance. Melissa looks good and she can still dance!

Another filler clip, this time about how our pros work so hard. They not only have to train their stars, but come up with routines for the Results Show. Edyta says it’s chaotic - even with one choreographer, they all have their own opinions. Anna D. adds that it’s “kind of like kindergarten.” They don’t have a lot of time, anywhere from 45 minutes to two hours. The wardrobe department has to come up with 120 costumes in a week, and somehow gets it all done.

Okay, we finally get to find out who’s going home this week. Uh, never mind. “The couple with the lowest combined scores and therefore going home ... will be announced after this.” Samantha says they’re not necessarily in the final two. Len says that Kelly has taken dancing into her heart and in doing so “has entered all of ours.” (How sweet!) He says Joanna has been the most “consistent” of all the stars and will be missed if she goes.

So who is leaving? Whoa!!!!!! Joanna & Derek are outta there! Kelly is crying and Sharon and Ozzie (or is it Ozzy?) are freaking out in the audience. After a quick chat with Tom & Samantha, Joanna & Derek are asked to recreate their Viennese Waltz from last night. Bummer - kinda like having to sing after getting kicked off of American Idol. At least it’s not the Cha Cha or something perky, cuz I bet she’s not feeling perky. I’m really surprised that she’s gone, I thought for sure she was one of the final two!

Okay, so Kelly and Donny’s fans came through and got them to the finals. Can either of them beat Mya out for the Mirrorball Trophy? I really don’t think that they should, Mya really is the better dancer - but ya never know!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Our Couples Do THREE Dances Tonight and Kelly Shines!

It’s the Semi-Finals! Four couples left, who will stand out and who will fall? We’ll find out....

LIVE!!! From Hollywood! This is Dancing With the Stars!

The couples will dance three dances this week. During the Latin dances, the stars will have to do a solo.

Donny & Kym
are first with a Tango. They are scared being in last place, and having three dances means a lot of hard work. Kym asked Gilles Marini, who got three 10's in his Tango, to come in and give Donny some pointers. He tells Donny that he wanted people to feel uncomfortable watching him dance, with all the passion he put into it. Gilles says to “act like you’re leading, even though we know you’re not.” He doesn’t want Donny to be “nice” but be “passionate and in control.” What the hell kind of Tango music is this? They’re dressed in black and gold, and I’m pretty sure that’s the name of the song, but it’s sucky Tango music. Donny does NOT look passionate at all (I’m not in the least uncomfortable) and messes up some in the middle, then Kym gets tangled in her hem. Donny yells as he waits for the judges to start, knowing he’s in trouble. Len starts by saying his Argentine Tango was fantastic, but this one wasn’t good. Donny walks up to the table saying “you know what it was? I saw Marie.” Bruno tells him “you completely lost it. Tonight you couldn’t cover it up.” Carrie Ann says there was no drama happening “except I bet there’s a lot of drama going on in your head.” She liked that they kept going and made it to the end of the dance. Backstage, Donny & Kym were both upset, saying they worked so hard, and in dress rehearsal everything went so well. Samantha quips “when all else fails blame it on your sister.” Their scores: 7-7-7=21.

Joanna & Derek come next with the Viennese Waltz. She says the pressure is on after last week with one good dance and one bad one. Brooke Burke came by to help Joanna deal with Derek and the stress. They do some “role play” where Joanna acts like Derek and had it down pretty good, actually! I love her soft blue dress with the ruffly bottom. It’s a very pretty dance, the judges should like this one. Bruno tells Joanna “this waltz had the grace of angels in heaven.” BUT! He saw a slight hesitation that didn’t take Bruno “up to paradise.” Carrie Ann likes how Joanna has grown into a “statuesque beauty” when she dances. She says Joanna has to figure out why she’s reaching, though, to help sell it more. Len is complimentary, telling her that “when you’re in hold, your dance is as good as any professional’s.” He called her wrists flicking “a bit funny” but it was very beautiful. Their scores: 9-9-9=27.

Kelly & Louis are up next. Right before rehearsal, Kelly finds out that a dog she was caring for passed away, and is very sad but decides to keep practicing (Louie tells her it’s therapy). They’re dancing a Rumba and Kelly wants Louie to choreograph it tough so she can show how far she’s come. Her solo is a little stilted but when she dances with Louie she looks a bit more comfortable than in past weeks. The one foot stand at the end looks scary, but she does it! Sharon is wild in the audience. Carrie Ann gets to start and has to wait for the audience to stop screaming. She tells Kelly “you’re not our strongest dancer but you have a magical quality that reaches right into my heart.” (Awwww!) Len says he can’t be as airy fairy as Carrie Ann, but he tells Kelly she has turned into a very competent dancer. Bruno calls her endearing but since it’s the semi-finals, some things need to be said. “The Rumba needs a sense of eroticism and you may not know about it, and I can’t teach you.” Backstage, Kelly says that the Rumba was for she and Louie, “more spiritual than erotic, to show how far we’ve come.” (Awww again!) Their scores: 8-8-8=24.

Tom tells us that Michael Ervin and Jerry Rice will “dance off” next week, live, since Michael said he can outdance Jerry. That might be fun (especially since Jerry made it to third in his season and definitely is the better dancer!)

Mya & Dmitry are up to dance a Waltz. They’re getting serious about the semi-finals. They have rules set up: If you’re late you pay a fine. Any mistakes mean five pushups. Ten minute breaks only. And.....listen to Dmitry. They’re working so hard that they are sleeping in a tent in the studio! (I’m sure). Her dress is very pretty too! And hey! They do a lift! Mya didn’t keep her foot on the floor when Dmitry spun her. Uh oh, big trouble! Len begins and says it had romance, elegance, and it was a joy to watch. Bruno offers that it was “love set to music, defying gravity” and saying that Mya always puts a touch of erotic in it. Carrie Ann loved it too - but she thought they were slightly not connected in hold (and of course, got booed by the audience and a quizzical look from Bruno). But no mention of a lift, I guess she missed it. Their scores: 9-9-10-28. Bruno’s tie ends up on the paddle blocking the score (heehee). Tom tells Bruno he thought for a second there Bruno gave her a 1!

Donny & Kym
are back up - but first we get to see where Donny “came from.” We see Donny singing on Andy Williams’ show (badly) at 5. When the Donny & Marie show ended, he wanted to show he could be a solo artist, and when nobody believed him, he says it hurt. His sons say he’s working really hard but still having fun, because of a saying in their house “let’s make a game out of it.” We see Kym telling Donny he’s going to do a step 100 more times until he gets it right, and he asks “can we make a game out of it?” Here comes their Samba, which should work well, Donny can sell this one with his personality. And they’re dancing to “One Bad Apple!” I really like him, but I don’t see him making the finals. He tries a slide through Kym’s legs and looks like he kinda gets stuck on the floor. He likes this one, though! Bruno says “A bit of a stumble doesn’t stop a professional from coming back and nailing it.” Carrie Ann liked it better than the last one but calls it “a little sloppy.” Len goes with Bruno “I can’t agree with Carrie.” He says it was an “absolute metamorphosis.” Their scores: 8-9-9=26.

Now we get to see where Joanna comes from. She was born in Communist Poland and moved to America when she was 5. She really looks like her Mom! Mom had to work in a factory and Joanna helped raise her little sister. She took ballet lessons but had to quit, and her sister (who also looks a lot like her) says it’s her dream to dance. They interview Hugh Hefner, saying he thinks Joanna can win. (Did she pose in Playboy?) Joanna & Derek are dancing the Cha Cha. Her solo is at the beginnning of the dance and those fringy pants look really goofy. Sorry, I think Karina is the only person who can pull those off! There’s not a lot of Cha Cha in this one, a lot of standing still and bending and such. Not sure Len’s gonna like this one. Derek seems to be doing a bit more this time around too. Carrie Ann gets to start, saying that she likes how Joanna can go from being beautiful and glamorous and then “come out and be the wild child.” Len said it was clean, crisp, and he loved it - but it “could have been a little more cheeky.” So of course, Joanna & Derek turn around and shake their bootys at him! Bruno says “ooh, I just can’t get you out of my bed.” He calls Joanna “natural sex” and says she’s not a dancer, but has achieved great standards. Tom tells Bruno that she’d find her way out (of Bruno’s bed) pretty quickly. Backstage, Joanna thanks the fans for keeping her in because she didn’t think she’d get this far. Their scores: 9-9-9=27.

Len gets to make a special announcement, saying that while we’ve had good dances and not-so-good dances, the band has always been fantastic (nice, Len, but no, they ain’t perfect either).

Kelly & Louis will dance a Quickstep next. We see how Kelly’s rock n roll life prepared her for DWTS. She had an “alternative upbringing” but it’s inevitable when your parents are Sharon and Ozzie Osbourne. When they did the reality show, it “turned my life upside down.” She heard people saying bad things about her on the radio and turned to drugs to cope. She loves that this show has helped her self-esteem and her body (oh yeah, she’s lost mega weight!) She’s doing great - Kelly has a great smile on her face and looks to be having fun - and her feet look good too - rats. I spoke too soon and jinxed her, looks like she missed a step during a long run across the floor. Louis kind of fumbles her on the last move where she’s upside down. Len starts by saying that “two people are very happy, and that’s your Mum and me.” It was totally past his expectations, and she’s blown him away. Bruno yells “you’re like Speedy Gonzales.” He noticed that she lost one step, but calls her a twinkling sparkle. Carrie Ann yells too, “Go get ‘em Kelly Osbourne!” She says she nailed it and was right with Louie, even with the stumble she was fabulous. Kelly gets teary-eyed telling the judges “thank you for your comments, that’s what gave me the confidence to keep coming back.” (No, the votes kept you coming back!) Their scores: 9-9-9=27. I think that’s their highest of the season!

Mya & Dmitry are next to dance a Salsa. She was born in Washington DC and her mother taught her tap from a library book. She kept her singing ability a secret from her parents, singing at school. She would have had to be the best so she got better and then let them know. Her parents got divorced and she found out her Mom had breast cancer and that was rough. To begin the dance, Mya unbuttons Dmitry’s jacket - good move! (She’s dressed skimpy for the guys, give us girls something too!) Her solo is HOT! I can’t see her not winning this thing - she is damn good. Great dance! Bruno looks actually lewd, gearing up for his critique. “Only one word can describe this! SEN-SA-TION-AL!!!” Carrie Ann called it “hot beyond belief” and her solo was “slammin.” Len says “I gotta say, tutti frutti, what a pootie.” He was “mesmerized by your buttocks” and says Mya should be in the finals. Methinks there’s three 10's coming! And they get them: 10-10-10=30. Dmitry falls on the floor.

The “knock out” dances are next. They have never done three dances in one week in the history of the show. They get to pick the dance “so there are no excuses.” Donny laughs “why did I choose Jitterbug?” considering it’s so perky. Kelly wants to do the Cha Cha since she needs to redeem her lousy Cha Cha from early in the season.

Donny & Kim in their sparkly green outfits will do their Jitterbug. The Jitterbug is Donny’s dance, for sure, he’s definitely “the Entertainer!” Carrie Ann says he needed this dance and “you got your mojo back.” Len says out of three dances, “two out of three ain’t bad” and this one was a winner. Bruno calls it full of vigor and recharged. Backstage, Donny asks his fans to pull him through to the finals because they don’t want to go home. They’re happy with their scores: 9-9-9=27.

Joanna & Derek will dance their Salso to finish their evening. It’s a party dance for sure, but seems really short. I think Joanna thought she popped something out, and Len said it was like “nipple hors d’oeuvres, tasty and full of spice.” (Did he really say that?!) Bruno calls it “delicious and flirtatious.” Carrie Ann says that Joanna truly generates heat and would love to see her in the finals. Their scores: 9-9-9=27. Talk about consistent, a 27 for each dance! That’s an 81 for the night. Samantha interviews Derek about his Freestyle choreography, then makes some lame comment about “what don’t you like to do with Joanna” and has to add “on the dance floor.” Tom quips “Joanna’s fiancee - you can go right back there to see her.” Samantha can be so lame sometimes!

Kelly & Louis
dance their Cha Cha to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” Kelly is looking serious - she forgets to smile sometimes! Bruno says her feet precision was great and her timing was too. Carrie Ann said she hit her lines great. Len thought she struggled during one dance at the beginning, but has come out and done three dances at a high level. Samantha asks why should people vote for them, and Kelly says thank you, but all she wanted to do was go out and kick butt. Louis says everyone is working their butt off but Kelly really deserves to get into the finals because of where she’s come from. Their scores: 9-9-9=27.

Mya & Dmitry will Cha Cha to wrap up the night. Something tells me this will be drastically different from Kelly’s! Dmitry rips off Mya’s little white skirt to show some fringy green hot pants. Carrie Ann loves her hip action, but the “beginning wasn’t speaking to me.” Bruno yells “you’re deaf, that’s why” as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Len says that Bruno shouts a lot, and “it’s getting on me wick a bit.” He was disappointed, because “I wanted it to go on a bit longer.” Bruno says it was like an “action packed trailer for a blockbuster, and I want to see the whole feature!” Sounds like great scores again! Backstage Mya thanks her fans for voting for them. Their scores: 9-10-10=29, for a total of 87.

So here’s how the judges have our couples after their scores:
87 - Mya & Dmitry
81 - Joanna & Derek
78 - Kelly & Louis
74 - Donny & Kym

Looks like Donny will go home, too bad, he really is a great entertainer. And he won’t have beaten his sister Marie who made it to third in her season. But who will win? Do you think Mya is a shoo-in for the Mirrorball Trophy? Can Joanna pull this off? Will Kelly the dark horse make it? We’ll see who goes home, tomorrow night - LIVE!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Boy Who Became a Man ... Is Gone!

One couple must leave the ballroom tonight ... who will it be? We’ll find out - LIVE!!!!

Even though Mya & Dmitry got a perfect 30 last night, Len wants to see the futuristic Paso Doble from Joanna & Derek tonight. They’ve toned down the makeup a little (I wouldn’t want to be in that weird getup all night either). Len says that it’s “a glimpse of what the Paso Doble might look like in the future.”

"In no particular order" we will find out the first couple who will be dancing in the semifinals - and it’s Joanna & Derek. As a tease before the commercial, we see DanceCenter will be on tonight - I hope it’s funny. These DanceCenters are either pathetic or hysterical, no in between!

In the confessionals after the first round, Kelly was overcome by the judges’ remarks and was in tears, saying “I love you, Louis Van Amstel.” Louis got a bit emotional too! After more confessionals, where all the stars tell us how badly they want to make it to the semifinals, Michael Buble (Boo-blay) sings. He looks like Harry Connick Jr.! Nice song. Even nicer - Maks, Cheryl, Jonathon and Anna are dancing! Samantha interviews Joanna & Derek backstage and asks how they will manage three dances next week. Joanna says she’ll eat more food to keep up her energy for the extra hours of training. Derek says that it’s the “mark of a champion” that Joanna could falter in her first dance and come back to nail the second one. Tom quips that it’s amazing that someone can speak seriously with Derek’s hairdo. Then, we find out that Mya & Dmitry are safe as well.

DanceCenter is on! Kenny Mayne isn’t wearing his weird eyeshadow glitter, that’s a good thing. They talk about each of the stars, saying that “Polish girls are hot.” They also compare her laugh to a seal. They laugh about Donny’s age, saying he acts like a 3-year-old on sugar, and Jerry Rice says “I hope I have that much energy when I’m 82.” Stacey Keebler is backstage asking Donny about his relationship with Bruno. Cute. Aaron is next for skewering, and of course they bring up his crying.... “There’s no crying in ballroom!”

The Design A Dance is up! Sabrina Bryan and Mark Ballas are dancing the Paso Doble to “Eye of the Tiger.” Jeffrey somebody designed the costumes and they are the GHASTLIEST, ugliest, goofiest looking costumes ever! Even Louis’ finged pants weren’t as bad as this!! (And Jeffrey looks like a cross between Bill Gates and Jared the Subway guy). Love the dance, but it’s hard to watch with those tiger striped atrocities.

After another song by Michael Buble (which I TiVo’d through this time) we are treated to an interview with Samantha and the three couples who do not yet know their fate. She asks Donny if he doesn’t make it to next week, what will he have learned from the experience. “I have learned how much a body can ache.” Kelly offers that “It’s amazing what can happen if you push yourself.” Aaron has learned life lessons. (Okay?) Samantha then sends the couples out to face the announcement from Tom, who says “it’s kind of like walking a carpet-covered plank.” Donny & Kym will be around for the semifinals!

Susan Boyle is making her American TV debut tonight and she’s looking pretty good - amazing what a little makeup and fixed-up hair will do! She has an amazing voice! This one I listened to all the way, and it was wonderful to watch Tony & Chelsie dancing.

DanceCenter again - Kelly is known as “the daughter of the Prince of Darkness,” which makes her Satan’s daughter. She’s short and wears goofy bows in her hair and swears like a trucker. They bring up Dmitry now, and Len tells Kenny that Dmitry is the professional, leaving Kenny with a blank look. They say Mya has some anger issues, and we see clips of Mya smacking Dmitry around in practice. After a lame “way to predict who will win,” we will find out who is going home. Tom says “after the votes are counted, the couple who is NOT going to the semifinals is ... going to be announced after this commercial.” I see Louis mouth “f*ck.” He’s been hanging around Kelly a bit too long!

And it’s Aaron & Karina. Kelly can breathe now, she looks ecstatic. Aaron thanks the judges for their compliments and criticisms, saying he’s grown. Len wants to say something to Aaron, telling him that he’s an inspiration to young people everywhere. “If you were my son, I’d be so proud of you, but you should be proud of yourself.”

So yes, Aaron grew up, but it wasn’t enough to keep him around. I’m thinking Kelly may be next, and Mya and Joanna will be in the finals. Agree? We’ll see how it goes, next week - LIVE!

Monday, November 9, 2009

An Eclectic Evening in the Ballroom! Adam Ant Does the Paso Doble

L-I-V-E!!! From Hollywood! This is Dancing With the Stars!!!

Tonight our couples will have to dance two dances - a Ballroom and a Latin dance, and the Latin dance will be from a specific decade - 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and the future. (This oughta be interesting!)

The judges give us an idea of what they’re looking for in the Ballroom round as the finals loom ever closer. Donny is the Born Entertainer, and needs to watch his posture. Joanna is the Glamour Girl, and her Quickstep will be important. Kelly is the Wild Child and tends to do better in ballroom but Len says “Mediocrity isn’t enough. Grow or go.” Mya is the Dancing Diva, and Len wants her sharp and precise. Aaron is “the Boy who became a Man.” He will dance a Foxtrot and Carrie Ann doesn’t want him to become overexuberant - Bruno says to “stay in the zone, don’t become a wild child.”

Mya & Dmitry will dance their Quickstep first. They decide they want to please the audience and keep the “wow” factor. Mya is pushing herself hard so Dmitry decides to take her to a ranch and they ride horses “to get away from the studio in nature and fresh air.” (Except, the last time I rode a horse, my thighs were KILLING me. Don’t think that’s very conducive to dancing!) I love her pink/peach/rose gown, and the dance is super! They’re very in sync and their hold looks good. Will the judges like this one? Len begins saying “we got off to a sticky start in week one, and it went from bad to worse, and tonight, there is a disappointment for me...” (The audience groans loudly) “...I couldn’t find anything to criticize.” Bruno yells that “this Quickstep is like vintage champagne, light, full of flavor! After you taste it, nothing else will do.” Carrie Ann tells Mya that she made something so difficult flow out with ease and grace. (Three 10's coming?) Their scores: 9-10-10=29. After the 10 from Len, Dmitry brings out a little plastic ring for Mya with a “10" paddle on it.

Aaron & Karina will dance next. He wants to show the world what a “real team can do together.” Karina isn’t feeling well, she’s running a fever and says she’s not letting him dance with anyone else - “over my dead body.” They practice with masks - will they hold their breath during the live performance or take their chances with the germs? Not sure about his posture - his “bum” is sticking out during the spins. Sorry, don’t think this is what Aaron needs to please the judges. He looks clunky. Bruno begins by saying he can see how much work went into the dance, but he felt it was “a little bit tense.” Carrie Ann says that Karina’s foot came off the floor and she saw the work but the fluidity wasn’t there. Len says he has so many emotions and is proud of Aaron that he’s worked so hard and he can see the improvement. (He took his happy pill again tonight - he can’t say anything nice about the dancing, so he compliments Aaron’s work ethic). Their scores: 7-8-8=23.

Joanna & Derek
are dancing the Quickstep. She says it’s not a tongue twister but a foot twister. They watch Mya’s dances to gauge the competition. Not sure Len is going to like the beginning - they’re “messing about.” Their hold isn’t as close as Mya & Dmitry’s. I like the fun of the dance, though. Uh oh, Joanna missed a step. She still gets a standing ovation from the audience. Carrie Ann says the routines are really long and there is a lot of content and she noticed that Joanna must have forgotten a little bit, but her frame was good. Len says there was “a lot of running about, lack of body contact - this is not the standard for the quarter finals.” Tom quips “I guess it was too much to hope that the good mood would last.” Bruno said it looked like they were running away from the scene of a crime. He says her upper body looked great but the bottom looked in another direction. Their scores are better than I thought they’d be: 8-7-8=23.

Kelly & Louis will dance a Foxtrot next. Louis is complaining that Kelly gets distracted easily and I can understand, when there are two teeny little ragmop dogs trotting around the studio. Other dancers are peeking in the studio, and Louis finally puts a sign on the door that says “Do not disturb or Louis will kill you!” He gets a suitcase and packs all her stuff up - her cell phone, extra shoes, computer, and locks it up. He makes her kick the dogs out too. I like this mint green color on her too - and she’s lost some weight! (Is she the next one to do Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem commercials?) The dance starts a little tentative but she really loosens up and the dance is pretty good. Len gets to start, and says he’s forgotten how much grace and elegance she brings to the dance floor. Bruno says “when you keep your focus, it works.” Carrie Ann tells Kelly she has a secret weapon, because when she has a breakthrough the audience goes wild, but she has to work on her extension. Backstage, talking about the locked box, Louis says “if she makes me wear the tassle pants, this is what she gets.” Their scores: 8-8-9=25.

Donny & Kym finish off the Ballroom round with a Viennese Waltz. He admits that the Quickstep burned him out, that he realized he wasn’t having any fun any more and he had to start all over again. There are a lot of spins but he says the hardest part is remembering the steps. His posture looks pretty good - it’s flowing and light and Donny’s got the attitude right. He gets a standing ovation for this one. Bruno begins ... “like watching a Lifetime movie, emotional, a bit of drama, oh, take me...” Len is being mauled. Carrie Ann found it mesmerizing. She says Donny didn’t over-perform it. Len liked the posture and the rotation, and was proud of Donny to attempt the Fleckle step, but says it was a little “artsy fartsy” for him. Donny says it’s great to go from “airy fairy to artsy fartsy.” Backstage Kym says Donny has everything it takes to get to the semi finals. Their scores: 9-8-9=26.

After the commercial, Tony, Mark, and some unnamed guy dance with three women I don’t recognize. Where are Cheryl, Edyta, Lacey or Anna T? They’re dancing a Latin medly and it’s pretty good, but I miss my girl pros.

The judges tell us what they want to see during the Latin round. Len says he wants to see an action hero when Donny dances the Paso Doble like Rambo - he wants to see “Donbo.” (Ooh that’s bad, Len!) Mya has to groove to her 70's Samba. Carrie Ann doesn’t want her to play it safe. Joanna will dance a futuristic Paso Doble, and Bruno says she can “excel at sexy, but will she be aggressive enough to deliver the Paso Doble?” For Kelly’s Jive, the judges want kicks and flicks. Bruno says “let go, Kelly! Enjoy it!” According to Len, Aaron needs “bounce, bum and bongos” for his Samba. Bruno hopes his speed and agility will make up for his technique.

Mya & Dmitry
will dance their 70's Samba. Dmitry is wearing a cheesy mustache that looks hilarious. Mya wants to channel Donna Summer or Diana Ross but “all I’m channeling is Raggedy Ann.” Dmitry is having problems with the choreography and is having a dancer’s block, and Mya is getting worried. They begin the dance and it looks good but I can’t get over that cheesy mustache! I like her hot pink jumpsuit with the bell-bottom fringes. The audience loves it, will the judges? Carrie Ann now believes she wants to win the competition. Len says “you’re absolutely on fire - your hips were hypnotic.” He says she gave him two dances with no gimmicks. Bruno calls her unbelievable. He says she does a mean Samba with Diana Ross in the middle (and then sings a couple lines of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.”) Tom says that Bruno managed to imitate Diana Ross and a strangled cat at the same time. Their scores are the best of the season - for any couple: 10-10-10=30. That gives them a total of 59.

Aaron & Karina get to perform a 90's Samba. Tom quips that they will dance a Samba like in 1990 - when Aaron was 3 years old. Aaron is showing Karina some moves from the 90's and one includes the rodeo move, which makes Karina crack up. “I can’t do that.” This dance looks really great, Aaron is having great fun and moving pretty good. Len said that it must have been hard after seeing a perfect 30 Samba, then coming out and having to perform one. “But you worked it, you sold it, and you really blew my socks off.” Bruno says “all that energy has actually done good.” Carrie Ann says that while she gave Aaron a hard time at the beginning, it’s nice to see him “hitting it” now. Their scores: 9-9-9=27. They have 50 for the night. Aaron tells Samantha that he’s been feeling punky and he almost threw up. (How special! That may have been fun for live TV, and may have gotten him a bigger sympathy vote.)

Joanna & Derek will dance a futuristic Paso Doble. Their costumes are a bit strange. They’ll be doing a lot of side by side steps and they have to be synchronized, and Joanna is having a tough time and wishing there were more hours in a day. They being with a lot of robotic moves, and after doing a little Paso Doble, go into more robot moves. Uh, oh, Len isn’t going to like this one! It’s not the best music to do a Paso to, but it looks pretty neat. I don’t think there’s enough content. Bruno gets to start, and says it’s “a masterful re-invention of a classic - Derek, you’re a genius.” Carrie Ann says it was outstanding execution of the theme of the future, and Joanna didn’t miss a step. Len said that “Bruno has taken my word that I’ve written down - genius.” He liked the theme of the dance and the content too (so much for my opinion). Their scores: 9-10-10=29. They have a total of 52 for the evening. Tom says that “now we know in the future we’re going to dance really good, but we’re going to look ridiculous.”

Kelly & Louis are up next and dancing a 60's Jive. She’s wearing a lime green wig! The first video Kelly did was 60's themed so she could add some moves to the choreography. The dance looks a little muted to begin, they dance to “Rag Doll” and they use a doll for a prop. They put all the standard 60's moves in, including the Batman. She ends the dance sitting on Bruno’s lap with her dolly. Len says Kelly has been a revelation to him, and she’s come in every week stronger and stronger. Bruno tells her “come back to Daddy.” She sits on his lap and he tells her he loved her dance. Tom quips that he makes Ozzie look like Hugh Beaumont (the dad on Leave It to Beaver). Carrie Ann said she was letting go, but her turns were “sticky” and the doll gave her the “heebie jeebies.” Their scores: 8-9-9=26. They have a 51 total score. Kelly laughs that this show is making her a lady.

Donny & Kym dance an 80's Paso Doble. Tom said he will “Adam Ant” the Paso Doble. Donny says he had a Mullett in the 80's and he wants one for this dance. It’s not a huge Mullet, looks more to me like Michael Jackson wore his hair for Thriller. It looks pretty good - interesting with the theme. Donny doesn’t really look that tough or powerful though. Tom asks if this can be the encore dance tomorrow night because “I just want to put him through that again.” Len says it was the most crazy, bizarre, scary Paso Doble he’s ever seen - but he liked it! Bruno said it was “more campy than a drag queen’s convention.” “It was like watching Donny, doing Marie, doing Donny, doing Marie.” Carrie Ann thought they did a great job of bringing the era back, but called it a little odd. She said the costume may have “cut some of your lines.” Their scores: 8-8-8=24, which is a 50 for the night.

Here is the leader board after the judge’s scores:

59 - Mya & Dmitry
52 - Joanna & Derek
51 - Kelly & Louis
50 - Aaron & Karina
50 - Donny & Kym

So who can win this thing? Did you vote for your favorite? We’ll see who goes home tomorrow night! LIVE!!!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Football Star and the Iron Chef Host Are Gone

Which two couples go home tonight? We’ll find out tonight ... LIVE! From Hollywood!

Wow, Samantha looks really good tonight. The mad hairdresser must have gotten the boot. (Wait, she got to Carrie Ann last night). The gold goddess-type dress looks fantastic!

Team Tango gets the encore dance tonight - and I’m noticing a lot of screwups. Kelly is messing up, Kym’s foot gets stuck on the floor while Donny is trying to spin her. Ah, s’ok, no scores tonight!

After some clips from last night, Tom says that one thing is for sure, Bruno is not allowed on the furniture any more! Heehee! Lacey feels better and is with Mark tonight.

The first safe couple is announced: Kelly & Louis. The first couple of the bottom three (one couple goes home for sure, the other two will compete in a dance-off for the judges) is Mark & Lacey.

Colbie Callait sings and Alec and Edyta dance - another married couple that looks really great together. Colbie has a great voice too!

Both Kelly & Louis and Mark & Lacey are backstage with Samantha. She asks Louis if he’s going to ramp it up during rehearsals this week, and Louis says “yeah, I’m gonna make her cry.” Kelly insists that she’s not crying any more, “I look like a big crybaby.” Tom then quips that “there’s so much flu we’re like a spray tan petri dish.”

Another safe couple: Donny & Kym. The next couple in the bottom three: Michael & Anna, who pretty much look like they expected it.

The singing debut of Mark Ballas and Derek Hough - they’re the Ballas Hough Band. Sounds a little rockish/electric. They’re lip synching! And of course, they’re dancing as they sing - okay, guys, this is allegedly a family show - they’ve got girls humping them (it’s nice to be king and choreographer!) This won’t be something I’ll be buying or listening to on a regular basis. (I can just imagine Derek’s Mormon parents not liking it either!)

There’s a clip of the stars in the smack-talking warehouse, and I guess they are all getting ready for a cage fight or something. The first rule about ballroom dancing: “You do not talk about the trophy.” The second rule: “You do not talk about the trophy.” Third rule: “You have to trust your partner.” Fourth rule: “No risk, no reward.” Rule five: “Leave it all on the dance floor.” Rule six: “Winning isn’t everything - it’s the only thing.” May the best man or woman win!

We’ll find out which of the three remaining couples are in the bottom three. Mya & Dmitry are safe, as are Joanna & Derek. Aaron & Karina are in the bottom three, and Aaron’s got that “I’m gonna kill you” look again.

After the commercial, Rod Stewart is on the dance floor to sing. He’s singing Motown! Four Tops - one of my favorites, “It’s the Same Old Song.” Rod Stewart is kinda up there, isn’t he? Gotta look that up....64! He still looks pretty good, the voice ain’t what it used to be but still not bad.

Some confessional interviews about the dance-off - Karina says they’re keeping their fingers crossed “that we don’t have to do it.” Well, Karina, now that you’re in the bottom three - I bet you’ve changed your tune! If they don’t dance, that means they’re eliminated straight out. Tom will tell us who the lowest-scoring couple is and send them home (till the end of the show for their “last dance.”) Aww, I feel bad, Michael & Anna are going home. I really like Michael and his great attitude. He couldn’t really dance, and it was time for him to leave, but he’s such a good guy! (Anna I won’t miss - don’t think she’s a great teacher or choreographer). Samantha is backstage with Aaron & Karina and Mark & Lacey, and both say they’re ready and will dance their best. (As opposed to saying “nah, who cares, we’re gonna suck.”)

First up for the dance-off are Mark & Lacey. They prepared two weeks ago so Mark is hoping he has this dance down, and he has Lacey back. Uh-oh, Mark is standing on the desk to begin! Lacey looks to be doing most of the dancing, though, I hope this goes through! Len begins by saying “Mark, you’re back to your best.” He said it was top-notch. Bruno (in his inimitable fashion) says “you can turn more tricks than Heidi Fleiss.” He did say, though, that “what little Cha Cha Cha you did was good.” Carrie Ann is glad that Mark is back tonight.

Aaron & Karina Jive for their lives next. They were in second place last night after the judges’ scores but I guess his scowls have turned the fans off. Their Jive is very energetic. Bruno says he cannot believe that Aaron is in this situation after last night’s excellent Jive - “and this was as good.” (Uh oh, Mark is going?) Carrie Ann disagrees - “I thought this was better.” Len calls Aaron the comeback kid, saying he was right on the money. Sounds like Mark is outta there! After the commercial, Lacey looks like she knows. Len says it was the best dance-off and Bruno gives both couples great reviews. Len says they’ve come to a unanimous decision and the couple they would like to save is ..... (pregnant pause) .... Aaron & Karina. During his exit interview Mark says “It’s harder than it looks.” (Have I heard that before?)

Aw, ain’t that cute, the eliminated couples join hands and skip in a circle. The remaining couples join them and if they break out in the Hokey Pokey I’m never watching this show again!

Five couples are left. Who looks like they can get that (don’t mention it!) Mirrorball Trophy? We’ll see next week!

Monday, November 2, 2009

A HOT Tango Beats the Paso Doble - But Two Couples Go Home Tomorrow!

LIVE! FROM HOLLYWOOD! THIS IS DANCING WITH THE STARS!

Tonight the stars have two dances - a regular and Team Dance. We have Team Paso Doble and Team Tango. I like this combination - usually the Paso went up against a Jitterbug or Foxtrot and it’s far too dramatic and usually wins - at least the Tango is more comparable.

The flu bug has hit again! Lacey is sick this week and Mark will dance with Anna Trebunskaya. I’m surprised none of the stars have gotten sick with the bug going around.

We begin the show with our pros - Jonathan, Chelsie, Tony, Edyta, Alec and I have no idea who is dancing with Tony! They dance a Paso Doble first and switch to Tango. It’s incredible, of course. At the end, the women end up in a quasi-backbend over the men’s knees - and I’m wondering how they don’t crack every vertebrae! (Either that or it’s a quick chiropractic adjustment!)

The stars designed their pros’ costumes tonight. And while I like Kelly Osbourne a lot, she is NOT a designer! From what I see of Louis’ pants, they’re an aqua/turquoise and fringed!!! Gah!

Len says that the pressure is going to go up tonight - they are expecting great dancing. Kelly looks like she’s going to throw up.

Michael & Anna will dance the Foxtrot to begin the evening. Anna asks if he had any kind of touchdown dance, and he does a lunge as he “spikes” the football. Anna tells him he has to be debonaire “I can be debonaire” and like Fred Astaire “No one has ever mistaken me for Fred Astaire.” (Especially considering Astaire was 5'9"). Michael really looks good for this dance. He’s smiling, looks rather light on his feet, and Anna’s dress looks really gorgeous! Len begins by saying “the first couple of weeks I would have been happy to see the back of you.” He then goes on to say that last week’s Waltz was fantastic, and this week’s Foxtrot was too. Bruno says Michael’s musicality has improved - but his bum still sticks out. “Remember the nickle.” Carrie Ann doesn’t know how Michael does it - calls the dance gracious and fluid and compliments his design of Anna’s costume. Michael tells Samantha he was inspired by Barney (the big purple dinosaur) because the last time he had this much fun he was watching Barney with his kids. Their scores: 8-8-7=23, the best of the season so far.

Tom quips that “If Barney looked like Anna, I’d be watching without my kids.”

Before the commercial, we see Lacey sick and Mark rehearsing with Tony and then Anna. He’s a little freaked out that he’s had three different partners this week.

Donny & Kym are going to dance the QuickStep. Donny is having problems with his posture and Kym brings out the posture bar. Donny wants it built into his costume (not a bad idea!) Donny looks pretty snazzy in long tails for the dance. It looks like he missteps a little bit here and there - is it me or him? And it’s not like this is easy choreography either. Bruno tells Donny that “as a performer you’re solid as a rock - nobody could cover up all the mistakes as well as you do.” Carrie Ann thought it was pretty good, liked the light footwork but said it was not his best. Len offers that they came out “full boar” right from the beginning and did a proper Quickstep - but “when you play it safe, there are no mistakes.” Their scores are pretty good: 8-8-8=24.

Tom tells us that the captains of the two Dance Teams are the highest scoring stars from last week: Joanna and Aaron. Team Tango is Joanna & Derek, Donny & Kym and Kelly & Louis. Team Paso Doble is Aaron & Karina, Mya & Dmitry, Mark & Anna (Lacey’s replacement) and Michael & Anna.

Mark & Anna are up next. He thinks that he and Lacey are finally contenders after the Jitterbug last week. Mark sees Lacey feeling non-energetic and tells her to go home, and she cries that she’s sorry. Mark is in New York taping Iron Chef America and practicing after a 12-hour day. As Mark tries to practice with a handheld video recorder, Tony walks in and says “I’m not as pretty as Lacey, but I’m here to help.” When Mark flies back to Los Angeles, Anna walks in (because Mark can’t dance with Tony, but that would have been pretty funny seeing Tony in a girl’s costume!) Mark has two days to have Anna teach him a new Samba. I really like this music! The dance looks pretty good too! Carrie Ann offers him compassion for having a rough time - but says that it was a “mess.” Len says Mark has had a tough week and the Samba is a tough dance, and can’t agree with Carrie Ann to that extent. It’s not Mark’s best dance, but he coped very well. Bruno says that “it was a bit like watching Kung Fu Panda does the Samba on the Planet of the Apes.” Jeeze! I didn’t think it was that bad! I feel bad for Mark - and Anna looks pretty bummed too. The scores suck: 6-7-6=19.

Mya & Dmitry will next dance a Foxtrot. She’s looking forward to doing an elegant dance and wants to impress Len. She’s thinking too much and Dmitry wants Mya to just dance. He brings in Chloris Leachman (I’m still trying to figure this one out!) who tells Mya that she has to connect with Dmitry, and give him bedroom eyes rather than “like this” and crosses her eyes. Mya looks very classic with her hair down and the mauve gown is really pretty on her. Len begins by saying “I liked the parts that were in hold.” He says that there were too many gimmicks - but “you probably pleased these other two, so two out of three ain’t bad.” (Meatloaf is waiting in the wings....) Bruno tells her that this Foxtrot “perfectly captured the glamorous aura of Hollywood.” He loved her timing and says she danced like an angel. Carrie Ann says “Len is officially smoking crack!” She loved the dance, calling it fluid and graceful. Their scores: 9-7-9=25. One of these weeks, they may actually get the judges on the same page and get good scores straight through!

Aaron & Karina are going to dance a Jive. He hated being in the bottom two for two weeks and loved being safe last week. Karina looks like she’s really choreographing some tough moves and Aaron is having trouble with his footwork so Karina takes him to an athletic training facility where NFL players train and had him hopping all over. Karina is a vision of pink fringe and they’re both hopping all over, looking pretty good - I notice that Karina puts in little “rests” where Aaron isn’t moving constantly. Bruno yells that Aaron kicks fast “to the galaxy and beyond.” Carrie Ann said it was so good, and his kicks were controlled - “but there was one little weird thingy in the middle” and Tom says “we call that Len.” Len is next and says “that had enough energy to light up Hollywood.” He said it was wild but clean, and fast but it had control - “I was tempted to dust off me 10 paddle.” Karina tells Len “don’t hesitate!” Their scores: 9-10-10=29. Aaron & Karina go nuts.

Kelly & Louis come up next to Salsa. She’s ticked that Bruno called her “beige” last week. She says it’s hard because dancing is something she can’t bullshit her way out of. She’s getting upset because she says that Louis has changed his approach and she can’t get used to it. As they stand ready to dance on the floor, Tom says that “obviously Kelly paid Louis back for the hard training this week by designing those pants.” Boy is he right! Louis looks like a total jerk in the pants! HAH! He tears them off in the middle of the dance. Then, Louis tears off Kelly’s black skirt and she finishes the dance in a short fringed skirt. Kelly still looks pretty reserved - I have a feeling the judges are going to skewer her. But I loved the spins at the end! Carrie Ann calls Kelly over for a hug, and says she was unafraid and loved the dance (and the pants design). Len stands up and says Kelly wasn’t afraid gave a full performance - even though it’s okay that Louis is pushing her because all aspects of her dancing need to come up. Bruno, not to be outdone by stuffy Len, jumps up on the desk shaking his hips and his butt. Louis runs to grab his discarded pants and Bruno wraps them around his neck. He says that “once you get the character, flirty and a little dirty, you let it all out.” She still had a little stumble. Kelly tells them “thanks for calling me beige” and Bruno says “it kicked you in the ass, didn’t it!” Their scores: 8-8-8=24.

Joanna & Derek are going to finish up the couples’ dancing with a Rumba. Derek says it’s slow and sensual and he’s going to show Joanna “how it is to dance with a Latin lover.” He wants her to leave the engagement ring outside because “it’s only me and you in the studio” but Joanna is having problems because Derek is a goofball. Joanna can’t see the romance in their relationship but he can - and they do a cheesy clip with Joanna funning along the beach and Derek feeding her strawberries. Joanna tells him “you’re much stronger than Maks” and as the couple embraces for a kiss, we’re back into reality with Derek kissing himself in the studio mirror. Really funny! Almost as if Derek knows he’s a little stuck on himself and can exploit it for fun. To tell the truth, it looks a little over the top to me at the start. They aren’t moving around the floor too much and her spins are very fast and jerky. She bobbles a little bit in a lean - we’ll see what the judges say. Len says the recipe for a good Rumba for him is the basics and good technique, for Bruno a little bit of the wow factor, and Carrie Ann wants no lifts but emotion and chemistry - “and I believe that ticked all of our boxes.” Bruno calls Joanna a love goddess - “so sexy I could taste it.” Carrie Ann says Joanna dances at the edge, like she could go terribly wrong at any moment - but not tonight. Sorry, I didn’t like it. Their scores: 9-9-9=27. (So they could care less what I think!)

Tom asks before the commercial if the couples can put aside their differences to dance the Team dances. It looks like the pros are having more tension with the choreography and each other than the stars are. Team Tango is introduced walking through a smoky archway, followed by Team Paso Doble. (I feel sorry for the people in the audience by that smoke!) We see the rehearsals where they decide the order of the couples, and then all the problems with the pros trying to choreograph. Amid all the bickering Michael says that “we gotta have one heartbeat.” They rehearse on Tuesday and again on Saturday and by Saturday Anna is there with Mark because Lacey is sick. Aaron & Karina get the first solo and Aaron looks like he forgot a chunk of it. Michael & Anna come up next and Michael looks like he’s dancing with a stick up his ass. Mark & Anna are next and it’s here that I miss Lacey - she’s pretty exciting with her choreography on the Paso Doble. Mya & Dmitry finish up and we go back to the group. It’s pretty decent, powerful - but I liked the Team Paso from the season that Mel B and Maks were partners, that one kicked better ass than this one. Bruno says it was strong and powerful but they lost a little bit of sync. Carrie Ann loved the intensity but said it was a bit basic for this stage in the competition - but said Mark redeemed himself from the last dance. Len congratulates Michael for pulling the rehearsal together and says the routine got stronger as it went on. Their scores: 8-8-8=24.

Team Tango rehearses next and begins Tuesday after the show. Donny asks if it’s better to have less couples and Louis tells him yes, “less egos.” The pros choreograph the routine first and then teach it to the stars which seems to work pretty well. Kelly & Louis will go first, then Donny & Kym and Derek & Joanna will be the anchor team. Since Donny is the only male celebrity, they are going to have all the women “fight” over him and of course, Donny doesn’t mind a bit. During Sunday’s rehearsal, Donny is having problems but the guys are helping him even though he says he feels as if he’s getting the flu. The “fighting over Donny” bit is pretty cool. Kelly improves her Tango immensely over the first attempt! Donny looks mega intense and Joanna & Derek do some wicked spins. I really love this choreography! Carrie Ann rushes down to high five the girls and spank all the guys (you harlot, you!) She then yells “why did you put in a lift? It was perfect without it!!!” Len thinks it’s easier to dance Tango because they are in hold most of the time than the Paso and this was the more superior dance. Bruno yells it was “superb” and tells Joanna she is a “love goddess” and “Donny Darko is magnetic.” He tells Kelly that she found her mojo. The scores are great: 9-9-10=28.

So after the individual dances and the Team scores, here are the standings:

27 + 28 = 55 - Joanna & Derek
29 + 24 = 53 - Aaron & Karina
24 + 28 = 52 - Donny & Kym
24 + 28 = 52 - Kelly & Louis
25 + 24 = 49 - Mya & Dmitry
23 + 24 = 47 - Michael & Anna D.
19 + 24 = 43 - Mark & Anna T.

I really hope that the fans save Mark - I really like him. But then, I like all the couples (with Michael and Aaron my least favorites, so they can go home). It’s gonna be a bummer, whoever goes home (two couples tomorrow night!) Make sure you vote, people!

WARNING: Big Brother Spoilers!

We watch the current season of Big Brother on CBS, Big Brother After Dark, and the Feeds. We watch all Big Brother 18 coverage and DVR it and watch it again. There will be posts about things we have seen from watching Big Brother 24/7. If you are a casual viewer of the CBS show-only or do not want to read any spoilers, do not read our posts dealing with After Dark and the Live Feeds.