Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Oldies are a Powerful Bunch! Surprises Abound!

The first results show of the season - and it’s all LIVE!!!

And (to paraphrase Len) we’re not messin’ about - Tom and Brooke will announce one couple who is safe, and one couple in the bottom two. Buzz & Ashly are ... SAFE! Okay, Chloris Leachman’s minions will keep him around for a bit. And who’s in the bottom two? Pamela & Damien!? Oh boy, this is already an interesting season! Tom tells us “that’s the kind of night it is.”

Len gives us his perspective on the stars so far. He thought Aiden improved. Jake is “one to watch.” Shannen needs more finesse and could probably do very well. Niecy was fantastic - “mama, this daddy loves you!” (In the confessional Niecy said she just had to kiss Len after his remarks - “but there was more in it for him than there was for me.”) Chad’s potential went down the toilet for Len. He thought Buzz did well for 80 years old, but the dancing wasn’t any good. Kate is letting her nerves get the best of her. (In the confessional she says “I’m not upset with myself.” You should be, lady, for what you’re doing to our beloved Tony!) Pamela got right into character (and pretty much stayed there all night). Erin’s posture was good and her dancing was fluid, Len wants to see that every week. Len didn’t expect Evan’s Jive to be any good, but he was pleasantly surprised. Nicole is a fantastic dancer.

The encore dance, of course, will be Nicole & Derek (not “Derek & Nicole” like Len said) and their Jive.

Our hot, sexy pros will dance a number that Michael Jackson’s choreographers choreographed especially for them. And it’s v-e-r-y nice!

Adam Corolla comes in and shows us favorite moments from last night. They include counting Buzz’s astronaut t-shirts (6). We see an interview with Chad & Cheryl, and Adam remarks “Chad - if you’re happy, someone needs to tell your face.” He thinks the peroxide dunk tank is getting to Pamela & Damien. He shows Edyta bashing Aiden’s face with her elbow - twice. “You crushed Jeff Ross’ orbital socket - is there a pattern here?” He listens to Bruno’s description of dancing on Elton John’s video for “I’m Still Standing” - “in the sun, with Elton John, in the south of France....” Adam then says that Bruno and Elton tomcatting around in the South of France must have bagged every chick in town! Until, of course, a stagehand whispers to him that both men are gay, to burst that bubble. Hee hee!

We find out about more couples: Aiden & Edyta and Niecy & Louis will be back next week. Tom tells us that two of the lowest-scoring couples are safe. Backstage Buzz tells Brooke his space program friends are keeping him in the competition, and the fact that he’s a patriotic guy, saluting the flag helps too. (Not really, but if he wants to think that way, it’s okay.)

John Stamos is playing drums with the Beach Boys tonight. I got though the first few bars and had to fast forward through it - saw them in concert years ago and I want to remember that, not the crap that’s onstage tonight. I hear young’uns saying that some bands should just hang it up when they’re past their prime, and for the Beach Boys, I have to agree!

We will be treated to “The Len Commandments.”

Thou shalt not kill ... time.
“This is a dance competition, sunshine, get on with the dance.”
Thou shalt not take the judges name in vain.
“We only criticize in the name of love.”
Thou shalt not steal ... dance moves.
Thou shalt not interrupt me. (Bruno)
“Nobody wants to see you gyrating and shaking your wobbly bits.”
Thou shalt not do lifts.
“Sergeant Carrie Ann is watching you.”
Thou shalt have rhinestones.
“Keep it sparkly, people.”
Thou may honor the judges.
“With gifts.”

Len thinks this cast is doing a good job, but they want next week’s dances need to show a story - without gimmicks and tricks. Hmmm, what will our couples come up with?

Another couple is safe: Evan & Anna. As the camera pans over Kate, she looks like she’s about to implode! (Reminds me of Karina).

Two more couples are safe: Jake & Chelsie and Nicole & Derek.

The Macy’s Stars of Dance feature dancers from Haiti, and we see a clip of the devastation down there. How terrible for those poor people!

Evan & Anna are interviewed backstage and Evan is happy to dance another week with his great partner. Brook asks Niecy how she feels that someone is going home. “I feel sick but hungry at the same time.” (I hope Niecy sticks around, she really is a hoot!)

We see how Brooke spends her day, and some behind-the-scenes info like her spray makeup and how she has people yelling in her ear to cut the interviews short.

The next couples safe are Erin & Maks along with Chad & Cheryl. That leaves Shannen & Mark and Kate & (poor) Tony to join Pam & Damien in the bottom two. Shannen actually looks bummed at the thought, and Kate is still looking plastic and petrified. So who’s safe? Kate & Tony! Kate screams and hugs Tony, and Tony is happy (sadist). So who goes home? Shannen & Mark. And what’s this? Tony is helping Mark down the stairs. I guess he’s hurt, he injured his knee in dress rehearsal yesterday and after an MRI finds out that the muscle separated from the bone and he’ll be out for six weeks. The plan was to have Shannen dance with Corky but it’s not gonna happen now. I feel bad for her Dad, who was having a great time watching her dance, but she wasn’t going to last a whole lot longer anyway. (The first six weeks or so are definitely popularity-driven, till we get down to the better dancers).

So, are you surprised? Did you do your patriotic duty and vote for Buzz to keep him in? Can we get him out next week, maybe? We’ll see how he does - LIVE!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Don't Know Who I Feel More Sorry For - Edyta or Tony?

Another week of stars, pro dancers, glitter, sequins ... how will our couples do? We'll find out .... LIVE!

To open the show, Tom teases that "had there been an elimination last week there would have been a huge upset." Hmmmm, sounds like our astronaut would have been saved. I wonder who would have gone home?

Shannen & Mark are up first with a Jive. After the judges’ comments last week Shannen is afraid and wants to “dumb down” their choreography. Mark refuses to, and pushes her to learn the steps. Shannen has to learn how to have more fun, because she’s dancing pretty good. You can see her screw up here and there, but all in all not too bad! Len tells Shannen that the Jive is fun, and she showed that - but there needs to be control too, and she has to work on it. Bruno tells her that her energy and performance level was better than last week. Carrie Ann said Mark was right about pushing her harder, she’s glad they didn’t go easier on the dance. Shannen has to work on her musicality though. Shannen is really happy running over to Brooke for their after-dance interview. Their scores: 7-6-7=20. Their total for both dances is 38. Shannen says “I gotta work on Len.”

Aiden & Edyta will dance a Fox Trot next. Aiden is getting frustrated having only four days to learn this new dance. Edyta seems to be getting really ticked off at Aiden, who tells her he’s really trying to learn the steps. She goes off to another room and slams the door, and Aiden chases her down where Edyta is upset and pouting. They hug and make up, and get to work again. Watching them dance, I think it’s a damn shame that Edyta is again stuck with a guy with two left feet. He’s such a hot guy too, he just cannot dance. He has absolutely no rhythm! Bruno says “I can see a glimmer of hope for Aiden.” He says that there were still some sticky moments but he liked the posture and moves. Carrie Ann tells Aiden “nice job.” She thinks last week Aiden was trying too hard, and this week was a more solid dance. Len thought it was economic in the movement, but Aiden’s footwork was much better, and there was an improvement. In the Celebraquarium, Edyta says she felt the pressure because they were in the bottom two after the judges’ scores last week. Don’t think they’ll get much higher: 7-6-6=19 and they have a total score of 34.

Evan & Anna look very 50's, ready to dance their Jive. They think that the judges were wrong about their chemistry, and figure the Jive will help with that because it’s a happy dance. He went back to his home town and at a dinner, asked everyone to put the couples’ voting phone number on their cell phones. Their dance is great - very peppy, they have great eye contact and bounce. Carrie Ann thinks that a Jive is hard for a guy with limbs like his, that “go all over.” (He does have long arms and legs). She thinks he made the connection to the audience and his partner, allowing his personality to come through. Len was happy because he thought that Evan overcame the tall-guy-can’t-do-Jive, although there was “something going on with your feet.” Evan said it was the pink socks. Bruno said he had a great connection, but “be careful not to go wobbly.” Tom quips that “that’s good advice for all of us.” Their scores: 8-8-8=24. Their total is 47 for both dances.

Niecy & Louis are dancing a Fox Trot. Niecy thinks it’s a bit more perky than it is. She was getting concerned about their communication because it seemed that everything Louis was telling her was getting crammed together and “sounding Chinese.” Louis tells her that he has to be her mirror, so when she looks at him she sees the truth. (*rolling eyes*) Niecy asks “when did I become a white man?” Louis explains that it has to be “smooth as butter” and Niecy says “now I can understand! You’re talking food!” She really is cute, and insists that she can be graceful as well. She’s looking pretty good in her ballroom outfit, and has her head tilted well, and yes, she looks graceful! Len said it had musicality, “a little sassy twist - which I like,” and compared to last week, a revelation. Bruno called her “light and frothy like a strawberry milk shake.” Carrie Ann asked “did I spot a lift?” and after Louis got the proper look of panic on his face, she said no - she loved it. She thinks that Niecy will need to go bigger next week, though, considering the competition this season. Their scores: 7-7-7=21, and gives them a 39 out of 60.

Jake and Chelsie are dancing a Jive, and hearing Chelsie explain it Jake, I understand his confusion: “just go front, side, back, then side, side, front back.” We see them practicing a spin move where Chelsie is supposed to go down into splits, and Jake has major trouble with it. He tells Chelsie she “may want to do something else” and she says no, she’s not going to change something she knows he can do. He says, “I’m not asking you, I’m more telling you.” They argue a little, and he gives in. Watching these Jives, I’m deciding that I’m very glad the short pants on guys went out of style - not too cute, seeing their socks and those goofy patent-leather loafers. Bruno looked at Jake and said his energy and determination are great, but he has to work on technique. Carrie Ann insisted that she thinks he did a lift. She did love the energy though. Len thought Jake coped very well, even though he was a little heavy on his feet. He hopes that Jake is not the one to go tomorrow night, because he has great potential. Their scores: 6-7-7=20, and gives them a 40 overall.

I’m also thinking that Brooke isn’t doing that great a job in Samantha’s place - Samantha was ditsy and said stupid things, and Brooke is pretty clunky during her ad-libs in the interviews. Hopefully she'll get more comfortable as she goes along - God forbid I should miss Samantha!

Buzz & Ashly are up next, and they will Fox Trot. Buzz asks Ashly to write the steps on a piece of paper and it helps him. His wife comes in to help during practice, and scares me yet again - that woman had some lousy ass plastic surgery! Their dance is absolutely pathetic - and while it’s okay if celebrities are old and trying to dance, and failing miserably, I feel somewhat bad seeing him walk around and thinking he’s dancing. He’s the first man on the moon, a national icon, and he’s embarrassing the shit out of himself. I really hope that he goes first so that I don’t have to witness this any more. Carrie Ann thinks there was an emotional tug to the dance - but the dancing part was a little “trepidacious” like he was afraid to step on Ashly. Len doesn’t want to criticize a legend, so he says that Buzz inspires people. Bruno has an astronomical discovery for Buzz - the man in the moon looks stuck in the Fox Trot, like he was “dodging craters.” Their scores mean they should go first, 4-4-4=12, giving them a 26 combined score.

Nicole and Derek were doing great learning the Jive, until the producers gave them a modern, contemporary song and they had to change a bunch of stuff in their dance. They’re adding a couple of things and Nicole says she doesn’t want to make Len mad, because “he scares me.” When the music starts, I can see why they were aggravated about the music. This is NOT a Jive tune! They’re doing a proper dance, but it seems a little disjointed with the music. Techinique is good, though. Len is ambivalent about the whole thing - he doesn’t like the boogaloo parts, but the Jive parts were very good. Bruno yells “it was phenomenal!” He’s never seen a Jive for the 21st century, done that good in the second week. Carrie Ann does a list - “great shoes, silver outfit, pony tail, modern - perfection!” With Brooke, Nicole says they shook their tail feathers to Rhianna. Brooke gets feisty and asks Derek who was more fun to dance with, she or Nicole. (Cute, but you can’t get away with that one, honey!) Their scores are KILLER! 10-8-10=28 and they have 53 for a total. (Great, now Derek will get an even bigger ego. He’s really beginning to annoy me, so full of himself. But he has to have a partner to get those 10's!)

Erin and Maks will dance a Fox Trot. Last week, Len called her a “funky monkey” - proving Bruno doesn’t have the corner on crazy, according to Tom. Maks tells Erin that the Fox Trot is the exact opposite of their Cha Cha. He will be a prince and she a princess, and she burps very princess-like. Erin is getting frustrated because Maks isn’t listening to her, and he’s wondering what happened that he is the calm one in the relationship. When their dance begins, Erin has a little solo and looks very delicate and pretty. Maks has certainly choreographed this dance very nicely. They hug at the judges’ table and Tom tells them to “break it up” but Erin is “adjusting” her wardrobe (meaning her top was slipping down a bit). Bruno says she has natural elegance, but to watch her arms. Tom cuts him off and goes to Carrie Ann, and Bruno freezes. She thinks it took lots of courage to do the solo at the beginning, and tells Erin not to hold Maks like she’s holding on for dear life. Erin then says “he said to hang on to his bicep, but I couldn’t find it, so I’m squeezing more.” Maks looks verklempt with that comment. Len thinks it flowed well and her posture was good, but her footwork wasn’t too clever. Len looks at all the video clips and says “there are three things you need to do with your pros - turn up, keep up, and shut up.” Hooboy, Maks will run with this one!!!! After the commercial we get their scores: 8-7-8=23, they have a 44 total for two dances. Tom laughs that Maks’ ego may not survive this season.

Pamela and Damien are up next. They will dance a Fox Trot and Damien tells her it’s a new dance and a new personality for her. She says that she wants to dance the whole dance with a glass of champagne in her hand. Damien says she’s doing well - Pam will be happy if she gets the steps down. She actually looks like she’s doing pretty good - Marilyn Monroe persona and all. She’s getting into character, that’s for sure! Tom laughs, saying “I don’t know what they’re (the judges) gonna say, but a busload of Kennedys just pulled up.” Carrie Ann says you have to be versatile on this show, and Pam has gone from character to character very well. Len says that Pam has been “tittivating” herself from last week. After a little back and forth, to which Len says “Google it, it means got smart” he’s able to continue. He says that Pam needs to work on her center, not on her bust. (I did Google it. All it gave me were results for “titillating.”) Bruno says it was a well-executed, delicious tribute to the original blonde bombshell - “and the dancing is good too.” He says she exudes so much sexuality that people forget about the dancing. Their scores, while Pam is still keeping the Marilyn persona, are 7-7-8=22, and their total is 43.

Chad & Cheryl will dance a Fox Trot. He’s saying that it requires him to be graceful, which he isn’t. Cheryl gets hard on him during training, but “it’s because she loves me. How could she not?” He’s a big flirt, and they’re giggling a lot - so Cheryl tells him if he can dance the whole dance without sticking his butt out, she’ll give him a kiss. Chad is excited, that when he does good, “she gives me a kiss!” It looks as if he messes up right off the bat, moving in the wrong direction. It’s not bad, but you can see him lose the beat a couple times. Len said that there was “little about that to say that I can give you any encouragement.” Terrible posture, “like the snow - glad when it’s all over.” Bruno said he looked uncomfortable - it was cumbersome and ungainly, and he went backward instead of forward. Carrie Ann said he has great potential but he was thinking too much, he needs to be in the moment. Chad seems pretty humbled (a whole lot different from his football persona, that’s for sure!) and says that he’s going to continue to work. Their scores: 6-5-5=16, and a total of 34 for the two dances.

Kate & Tony will dance a Jive. Tony says every time he teaches her a new dance, it’s like teaching her a whole new language, and it gets tiring. She’s questioning his methods of teaching, saying that he’s not showing her correctly, and giving her any consideration on how she learns. Tony is getting bummed, saying he’s a world champion and has never been questioned on his teaching before. Kate seems to be apologizing and is being the typical bitch female, blaming Tony, who says “I quit” and leaves the room. Kate looks lost and weepy, saying “I don’t get it.” (Kate, honey, Tony is NOT Jon and won’t take your bullshit!) Tony interviews that he had a weak moment and “let it get to me.” Kate, ever the big person, says “I can be difficult, so I don’t blame Tony.” How sweet of her! After all that, Kate is pah-thet-ICK. There’s no bounce, no fluidity, and she can barely remember what she’s doing. (I think that Edyta and Tony should be partners after their stars get kicked out.) Thankfully, it’s over and Bruno says the song (I’m Still Standing, by Elton John, which Bruno danced in the video) brings back great memories for him, which Kate turned into a nightmare. “You went through the motions like a Stepford Wife.” Carrie Ann said the positive thing was that she made it through the whole routine - but that’s it ... she was bouncing through the dance because that’s all she could do. Len thinks her nerves are breaking her. “What’s the worst that can happen? Go out fighting!” I feel so bad for Tony! With Brooke, Kate tries to explain that what we saw was “30 seconds of a week’s practice with a great teacher.” They have to learn to communicate like a “...eeek! Marriage?” Their scores (as Tony covers his eyes): 5-5-5=15, and they have a total of 31. Kate says this week has shown that neither of them are quitters (but I wouldn’t blame Tony a bit!)

So here are the standings (Judges' scores only) after two dances:

53 - Nicole & Derek
47 - Evan & Anna
44 - Erin & Maks
43 - Pamela & Damien
40 - Jake & Chelsie
39 - Niecy & Louis
38 - Shannen & Mark
34 - Chad & Cheryl
34 - Aiden & Edyta
31 - Kate & Tony
26 - Buzz & Ashly

After seeing Tony suffer with Kate, I think I can take Buzz for another week to get rid of Kate and give Tony a break. He doesn’t need the aggravation! What do you think? Make sure you vote, people! We’ll see who goes home tomorrow night!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Season 10 Begins! Cha Cha, Viennese Waltz, an Astronaut and Ta-Tas

Season 10 begins! The glitter! The rhinestones! The tight pants and fringe!! LIVE! From Hollywood! This is Dancing With the Stars!

From what I saw, Melissa Rycroft was supposed to do the first show and Brooke Burke was going to take over after that - well, I guess Brooke managed to switch her schedule because there she was! I wonder if the crazy hairdo lady will get to her this year.....

No more going backstage for after-dance interviews. There’s a room now they’re calling the “Celeb-aquarium.” It’s a glass-walled room at the back of the audience where Brooke will be interviewing and the stars to come stand around. Frankly, it’s a good idea but I liked the couches backstage. Lots more informal and fun.

So let’s get going! First up are football player Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke. They’ll dance a Cha Cha. Chad says he has no previous dance experience except in the end zone, and he usually gets fined for that. During practice, Cheryl tells him “good job” and he asks if it was really good, and she says no, she’s trying to give him positive reinforcement. Chad tells her not to tell him he’s doing well unless he is, so Cheryl tells him “okay, you suck. Do it again!” Their dance isn’t bad, considering it’s the first week. Len told him that he’s a “rough diamond” and Chad “came out like a tiger.” Bruno said that Chad is a “huge talent yet untapped.” Carrie Ann thinks Chad has something going on, “something raw and primal.” Their scores: 6-6-6=18. The audience boos and Tom gives them a 7 for their booing.

Actress Shannen Doherty and Mark Ballas are up next with a Viennese Waltz. Shannen is dancing because of her father - he had a stroke and he loves the show, so she decided to go for it. She’s petrified of dancing before a live audience and gets hives when she gets nervous. She’s not all that graceful and screws up right at the beginning, but they do a spin at the end that’s pretty neat. Bruno isn’t going to pull punches tonight - he told Shannen that it was difficult choreography for week one and she was swinging her arms like a primate. Carrie Ann is impressed, saying it was an ambitious routine that was bad at first and got better. Len said the key to the Viennese Waltz is ease and elegance, and she did a good job of it, with a nice fleckle. (After much poking around on the internet, I cannot find a definition of a fleckle. This will be my life’s work this season, to define it properly for you!) Shannen is crying in the Celebaquarium, saying she saw her father and she’s happy she got through it. Their scores were 6-6-6=18.

Sports reporter Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy will dance a Cha Cha. They have friendly banter at their first practice, and Maks says “they always ask for me and then they regret it” because he’s such a tough teacher. Erin protests that “I didn’t ask for you, I asked for Tony!” Erin is having problems because she wants perfection and stops herself as she feels herself making a mistake. Maks is upset, telling her that “my only pleasure in life is bitching at people and you’re taking that away!” Their dance looks fun - her hips are moving pretty good. Carrie Ann tells them their chemistry is good and Erin has good moves. Len said it was a challenging routine and Erin looked like a “funky monkey.” Bruno liked that Erin was bringing zest and vitality to the dance. Better scores: 7-7-7=21.

Bachelor Jake Pevelka & Chelsie Hightower will perform a Viennese Waltz. I’m really hoping this rose thing ends tonight, because there were freaking roses everywhere! He meets her, she gets a rose. Chelsie had to ask, too - “We’re not getting married at the end of this, right?” He trips right off the bat during the dance but his posture and hands look good. Of course, he gives her a rose at the beginning of the dance and they dance to “Kiss From a Rose” by Seal. Enough already! Len said he moved very well and did a lot of the dance in hold, but he’s got to stop sticking his bum out. Bruno decided he was too rough and was “bouncing” Chelsie about the dance floor. Carrie Ann was impressed, saying he worked romance into the dance but needed to work on his posture. They scored 7-6-7=20.

Comedienne Niecy Nash & Louis Van Amstel will dance a Cha Cha next. Niecy tells Louis that “I like my jiggly parts, a little junk in the trunk.” She doesn’t want to lose weight during the show, she likes herself just fine. The Cha Cha is fun and pretty good! At the end, they end up back to back, and slowly Niecy falls back as Louis falls forward, and they end up on the floor - nice move. Bruno tells Niecy that there were two personalities out there - a sexy Lola and a virgin. Carrie Ann thought there was fantastic energy and a sexy dance. Len told them it was a clean, clear and precise routine, but an uneventful and flat Cha Cha. Niecy tells Brooke she is dedicating her dancing to “thick” girls everywhere. Their scores: 7-5-6=18.

Tom explains to us that for the past three months Len hasn’t been up this late, so that’s why he’s cranky.

Gold-medal winning skater Evan Lysacek & Anna Trebunskaya are going to dance a Viennese Waltz. He’s been told that his skating won’t help because he’s too technical a skater and won’t be able to dance. He’s thinking the skating should help, but I don’t think it helps much. He has good hands, but his posture isn’t as good as I expected. Carrie Ann thinks Evan is good but he needs to work on pointing his toes. Len said he has good artistry and musicality, but the tails on his tuxedo covered his problems with his bottom. Bruno was poetic - “you have the wingspan of a 747 and the grace of a swan.” He did tell Evan to get a connection with Anna. Their scores are pretty good: 8-7-8=23.

After the commercial, Tom introduces the two astronauts on the international space station saying hi to Buzz Aldrin & Ashley Costa. Buzz is 80 years old but he’s still a risk taker - he was a pilot running bombing missions over Japan, walked on the moon, and now he’s dancing. (His wife interviewed about his bravery but the biggest part, I think, is looking at that woman every day and not screaming. Bad, bad plastic surgery, lady!) Buzz’s first thought when he saw Ashley was “this is a really cute babe.” (Great, old and a horn dog!) They dance a Cha Cha and - sorry, national hero or not, he’s just bad. He has NO rhythm. He’s ... just ... bad. Len says that he remembers sitting in England and watching Buzz walk on the moon, and thinking how brave he was - but Len can’t give marks for bravery. Bruno asked “how can I criticize a legend?” then proceeded to tell Buzz he danced like he had his moon boots on. Carrie Ann told him “you inspired a lot of people tonight.” They deserved the scores: 5-4-5=14.

PussyCat Doll Nicole Scherzinger & Derek Hough will dance a Viennese Waltz. She’s got dance experience, but not anything close to ballroom dancing. She likens the Waltz to “looking graceful and not like I’m in pain.” I liked the choreography (Derek is quite good) but there didn’t seem to be much of a connection. Bruno is astounded, saying that Nicole had startling finesse. Carrie Ann called it emotional, saying “the bar has just been set.” Len said it was very appealing, but once you look past the facade of the choreography, you just see bad footwork ... and continues to rip pretty much everything. I don’t think their scores deserved to be that high: 9-7-9=25.

All My Children Actor Aiden Turner & Edyta Sliwinska are going to dance a Cha Cha. Aiden is a smart guy, saying you always bring flowers when meeting a woman. Edyta is happy and has her hands full of flowers, but Aiden tells her she’ll have her hands full “with me.” Edyta tells Aiden “I feel like your Mum teaching you how to walk” to which Aiden replies, “I don’t think of you as my Mum, thank God.” Wow, Edyta’s dress is layers of fringe that look like she’s naked between the rows. (My hunny likes this outfit! Our mostly-naked Edyta is back!) She definitely has her hands full, Aiden is hot but has no rhythm. He dances as if he’s counting his steps and you can see where she reminds him to smile. Carrie Ann liked the gusto of the dance, but called it disjointed with no musicality. Len knows “there’s a dancer in there” but they did everything he didn’t like. “You’d better shake your wobbly bits.” Bruno said there was nothing going on in the groin, and it wasn’t hot. “It’s like Kenny Mayne all over again.” (Yeah, it was bad, but not THAT bad!) Their scores are better than I thought they’d be: 5-5-5=15.

Mother of Eight Kate Gosselin & Tony Dovolani are dancing a Viennese Waltz. She said her kids asked her why she was doing the show because “mommy, you can’t dance.” Kate is having problems getting the steps down and Tony asks her if she really wants to be there. Kate assures Tony she does, it’s just her insecurities showing through. (I guess after being such a bitchy bulldozer on Jon & Kate Plus Eight she needs to appear softer and needier or something.) Tony always has great choreography but Kate’s pretty clunky. Len says that “the first dance is like a first date” and that Kate looked nervous, not fluid. Bruno started out nicely, saying that “this is a new world for you” but then tells Kate her technique was terrible and it looked like Tony was pushing a shopping cart. Kate has to learn to assume a persona. Carrie Ann tells Kate that she’s not a performer or an athlete, so this is tough for her, but she has a sweet vulnerability. Okay scores: 6-5-5=16.

Last up this evening are Actress/Hussy Pamela Anderson & Damien Whitewood, the new guy this year. Pamela isn’t sure why she is doing the show, except that her “Auntie Vi” has been dancing since she was three and Pam is dancing for her Auntie Vi. But, Pam says, “I have no rhythm and I’m tone deaf.” Tell you what, though, their Cha Cha looked pretty good! I thought it was one of the better dances of the night. Bruno said he could only think of “sex and more sex.” Carrie Ann was anxious to see Pam dance, and Pam did not disappoint her. Pamela was fully involved in the dance - “maybe a bit too much.” Len said the start of the dance was great but overall it was a mess. Bruno interjects here “but the sex was good.” As they show their paddles, Carrie Ann flips her hair (allegedly) sexily, and Bruno gyrates with his paddle in front of his crotch: 7-6-8=21.

So here’s the leader board after tonight’s dancing:


25 - Nicole & Derek
23 - Evan & Anna
21 - Pamela & Damian
21 - Erin & Maks
20 - Jake & Chelsie
18 - Chad & Cheryl
18 - Shannen & Mark
18 - Niecy & Louis
16 - Kate & Tony
15 - Aiden & Edyta
14 - Buzz & Ashley

Next Monday, the couples will each dance a Latin dance, and then we get to vote and find out the results on Tuesday night. We’ll see what happens next week!

WARNING: Big Brother Spoilers!

We watch the current season of Big Brother on CBS, Big Brother After Dark, and the Feeds. We watch all Big Brother 18 coverage and DVR it and watch it again. There will be posts about things we have seen from watching Big Brother 24/7. If you are a casual viewer of the CBS show-only or do not want to read any spoilers, do not read our posts dealing with After Dark and the Live Feeds.