Monday, April 5, 2010

Waltz, Paso Doble, and Quickstep, and We See That Buzz and Kate Still Can't Dance - But at Least Buzz is Entertaining!

Another night in the Ballroom - it's DANCING WITH THE STARS!!!

All the couples come down the steps, minus Shannen & Mark. Pam Anderson is waggling her hips something fierce! Chelsie has a dark wig on and you can’t really tell it’s her. Tonight, the couples have to tell a story with their dances. We see Kate & Tony practicing the Paso Doble, and they will dance to a song called “Paparazzi.” Might as well let Kate channel some of that bitchiness into a dance, she’ll probably nail it! Maks is making Erin practice her Waltz blindfolded. Niecy & Louie will tell the story of an interracial couple in the 60's, and Niecy is emotional because it would be awful if she couldn’t see her boyfriend because society said so. And we’ll see all of this, and more ..... LIVE!

Jonathan and Anna D come out to dance with Lacey and Maks’ brother, Val, and Dmitri and Jhanna (best I can do with Tom’s pronounciation), to demonstrate the storytelling aspect in the dances of the night. They begin with a Waltz, and move into a Paso Doble, then finish up with Quickstep. So will the couples be able to come up with a good enough story to please the judges, along with a good dance?

Evan & Anna are going to begin the night with a Quickstep. Evan tells Anna he wants her to explain it to him in a thick Russian accent, it’s a simple pleasure for him. (Pretty easy, this guy). Anna explains that they have to be theatrical and act out the dance, and as Evan says “I looovve me some acting” he really looks pretty lecherous. Jonathan is gonna come in there and kick his ass! They’re going to “play” a married couple, and Evan is upset because Anna is late. Evan does a few steps himself as the music starts, pretty ballsy! Their dance is really great, if you ask me. Len is happy, saying they totally got the story. “As all men, waiting for a lady to show up, and when she does, you’re euphoric.” He liked it a lot, but tells Evan to work on his feet. Bruno rises out of his chair, telling Evan “she may have made you wait, but you gave her the ride of her life and then you dumped her.” He tells Evan to watch his feet and “keep your bum underneath you.” Carrie Ann called it energetic and light, and with his “acting” at the beginning, stressing about “where is Anna?” he fooled the judges. In the Celebraquarium, we find out Evan broke a couple of toes this past week. Their scores: 9-8-9=26.

Before the commercial, we see the stress our couples are having - Chad and Cheryl and sniping at each other, Nicole looks ready for tears with Derek, Kate is - of course - crying, and Chelsie is talking to Jake and he storms out of the studio. My, my, aren’t our stars temperamental this week!

Buzz & Ashly will Waltz next. They will be a returning war hero and his daughter greeting him as he comes home (of course). After Bruno’s remarks about Buzz’s Fox Trot last week, saying it looked like he was avoiding craters on the moon, Buzz said “he’s never been to the moon, how would he know what it’s like to avoid craters?” He’s says he’s a slow absorber so he videos Ashly going through the dance so he can practice at home. She tells him to stop thinking so much and just let go. They want better scores so they don’t have to rely on the fans so much. The dance starts out really sweet, they’re acting pretty well. Unfortunately, Buzz then has to dance, and he’s as bad as ever. He’s flat-footed and out of rhythm, but they get a standing ovation from the audience. Bruno begins, saying it was more like “the return of the king - royal and dignified.” He then compares Buzz to a statue, saying it would be better if he was standing still. Carrie Ann doesn’t know if his dancing improved but the story was wonderful. Len said it had an innocent charm about it, but the technique was poor and the dancing was oversimplified. Buzz acts like he’s going to toss his hat at Len and Tom ushers them off to the Celebraquarium. Brooke asks Buzz how it feels to take the judges’ criticism, and he says “I think they’re right.” He does know the emotional story was a good one, though. Their scores are just as lousy: 5-4-4=13. Tom picks up Buzz’s duffel bag and tells him to toss that at Bruno instead.

Jake & Chelsie are up next, with a “mummy inspired” Quickstep. He’s going to open up a tomb and discover Cleopatra. Chelsie gets frustrated, and Jake can’t learn when he’s frustrated. He walks out so he doesn’t snark back at Chelsie, and tells her she sounds very disrespectful when she yells at him. (Poor baby!) They do a walk across the floor waggling their heads and that’s a pretty good move. In the end, she shuts him up in the tomb, and it’s pretty cute. His dancing wasn’t bad either, let’s see what the judges say. Carrie Ann like the storytelling, but said his legs were “a little funky.” Len said his legs were bent and that messed up his posture for the Quickstep, but he liked the production and the entertainment. Bruno liked “Indiana Jake and the Queen of the Nile chasing each other all over.” He does lose his frame, but the performance was very good. Brooke asks about the communication between the two, and Jake says it’s important when “you’re thrust into a relationship with someone for 6-8 hours a day.” Their scores are okay: 7-7-7=21.

Before the break we see Pam Anderson, who will be dancing the Paso Doble, learning how to stomp with Charo, saying “I think it’s a dance with the devil.” Hmm, that oughta be interesting!

Niecy & Louis are up. They’re going to dance a Waltz. We see them practicing, and Niecy says “I’m standing here, looking for the love of my life....he’s white? What the hell?” She just cracks me up! She pours out her heart about not being able to be with her boyfriend because he’s not black, and Louis tears up also. Niecy says the story belongs to a lot of people, and she wants America to see it. The dance begins really soft and beautiful - Niecy definitely can act! She’s missing a few steps here and there, though, looks a little clunky. Louis really choreographed this dance beautifully, though. Len said he thought it was daring to try to tell a story with no props, and he thinks they pulled it off. He wants Louie to work on Niecy’s technique, though. Bruno called it “a tale of love against all odds” and said they acted it very well, but she stumbled at the beginning. She needs to work on her feet. Carrie Ann says she stumbled because she was trying to keep her feet on the ground as Louie spun her around, and it was appreciated. She was confused about how they told the story though. Niecy tells Brooke she isn’t used to people seeing her cry, she’s usually pretty funny, and she was really emotional. Louie adds that the world has come a long way, but they believe that there’s still a ways to go, because everyone should have the right to get married. (Methinks maybe Louis is coming out to the world?) Their scores: 7-7-7=21.

Chad & Cheryl will dance a Paso Doble. In his confessional last week, Chad says the scores were right “for the bullcrap I pulled tonight.” They talk at rehearsal about having a bad football game, but bouncing back and re-energizing with the basics. Cheryl tells him that instead of the typical matador killing the bull, he will be trying to seduce her but she wants nothing to do with him. Chad says “that sounds familiar.” He says in this dance art imitates life, “for real. I keep trying and I keep getting rejected.” Chad is getting frustrated because he’s a perfectionist at football, but having problems learning to dance. Cheryl did a good job with the choreography, and I think it looked pretty intense. He’s not the best at the dancing yet, but I see an improvement. Bruno yells “Chad, you released the Kracken!” He saw presence, power and determination, but he needs to be careful, because “sometimes you dance like a Kracken.” Carrie Ann said he was focused in on Cheryl like a laser and it worked perfectly. He needs to work on his shoulders, but he’s “miles ahead” of last week. Len offers that he was much better than last week with a dominating dance, but tells Cheryl to work on his posture. After the commercial, Jonathan and Tony are dressed in gaucho clothes and they do the “Three Amigos” move, with a pelvic thrust at the end, and it’s funny! Their scores: 7-6-7=20. Chad says last week was a humbling experience, and he liked the Paso Doble this week to get some aggression out and show his “cocky, arrogant side.” (That’s the Chad Ochocinco the football fans know!)

Pam & Damien are up. She cried all night after being in the bottom two. They’re dancing a Paso Doble, and she will be a flamenco dancer who is in love with the matador, but is totally against what he stands for. It hits home for her, because she’s an animal activist and thinks bullfighting is awful. Charo comes in because she’s a flamenco dancer to give Pam some pointers, and tells her not to look down - “anyway you can’t see your feet with your big maracas.” Charo is pleased because she sees passion. The dance is pretty good, I see passion too! Tom quips “I do not want to make you mad.” Carrie Ann definitely got the story, and says Pam has a certain artistry and knows her body well, but this time she “threw a little too much into it” and threw herself off. Len thinks she had some nerves after being in the bottom two, but loved the focus and intensity. She needs refinement. Bruno calls it “like the Gypsy Queen played by Bridget Bardot at her peak.” He says under the sex bomb exterior, she has the ability to do it, and he wants her to come back and prove it to everybody. Pam says she’s having a great time and wants to come back and keep doing it, and doing it....their scores: 7-7-7=21.

Aiden & Edyta will dance a Quickstep. After last week, Aiden got sick after the performance and puked in a garbage can. He realized that after Buzz was safe and Pam was in the bottom two, anything could happen and he wants to stay in the competition. Their story will be that he’s a painter, who is painting the woman of his dreams and she materializes. He’s dying at rehearsals, though, considering the Quickstep is so fast and he’s doing it constantly 6 hours a day. Edyta brings Aiden’s wife and baby girl in for his birthday, and it perked him up “and made my Quickstep a lot quicker.” The music isn’t a Quickstep beat, though, it’s kind of disjointed and it looks like Aiden feels it too, and messes up a little at the beginning. Len says “the Quickstep should be carefree, and this seemed careful.” The audience boos but Len wants Aiden to go for it. Len mentions that there was a “bit of an incident” and Aiden tells him that his mike (microphone) dropped. Bruno thought he looked as happy as a clam compared to last week. Aiden’s posture was better and Bruno saw an improvement. Carrie Ann agrees, saying Aiden’s confidence is growing but he may have been a little too light on his feet. In the Celebraquarium, Aiden says it’s a very hard dance, especially to learn in five days. He’s working his butt off, “literally.” Their scores: 7-6-7=20.

Erin & Maks will Waltz. Maks tells Erin it’s close to a Fox Trot so she can keep developing her frame. Erin will dance it blindfolded, and she’s supposed to give herself to Maks and trust him. He keeps telling her “let me take you for a ride, just enjoy it.” They have a blindfold backstage before their dance, and Erin puts it around Maks’ mouth (heehee). I thought that was just for practice, but I guess she’s going to actually dance on the floor with a blindfold. The dance stars with her able to see, and Maks ties on the blindfold, which Erin said could “look really hot or really kinky” and I’ll go with hot. She’s doing a pretty good job, actually - although I don’t know what the story is supposed to be. Bruno gives Erin “you kinky thing” a warning - “it starts with a blindfold and you could end up in handcuffs.” He liked the dancing in hold, but not when she’s on her own. Carrie Ann called it beautiful storytelling, and the prop was “really profound.” But Carrie Ann said Erin’s hand grip gave away that maybe she wasn’t trusting Maks as much as she should have. Len called it “the most boring start I’ve ever seen.” He said the Waltz they did was great, but there wasn’t enough of it, and gets booed soundly by the audience. During Tom’s intro into the commercial, Maks blindfolds Tom, who gets through his intro and says it was “all from memory.” (It just proves how good he really is and how far Brooke has to go). Their scores: 8-7-8=23. Brooke asks “how much trust did it take to go into a room with Maks blindfolded?” Maks says “I had candle light and wine, and everything.”

Kate & Tony get to dance a Paso Doble. In their confessional, Tony mentions that they were supposed to go up, instead of down with their scores, and Kate says “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.” She’s close to the song, Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi,” and Tony wants her to let her feelings out instead of keeping them bottled up. He brings in an acting coach to bring her emotions out and become someone else. The acting coach wants her to be mad, but she’s not even looking at Tony, so Tony takes Kate to a punching bag and it seems to help. They should have told her to think about Jon, and she’d get plenty mad! It doesn’t end up helping in their dance, though, she’s not forceful at all. She’s got the mean look, but no toughness or passion. Sorry, she just sucks. Carrie Ann calls it “odd.” She said it was very hard to watch, saying that the emotion didn’t get to her face. Len said she got through the dance, and got through her nerves, but there was no passion or drama - “it was all very pedestrian.” Bruno thought she played the character of “the super bitch from hell” with a face like thunder, but says it has to translate to the dance, it looked like she was walking. Tom quips that “the super bitch from hell was the compliment.” Every time I see Kate, I feel more sorry for Tony. Brooke mentions that people don’t realize how hard dancing really is, but asks if Kate is having fun, and she says yes, despite the feedback. Their scores make me even sadder for Tony: 5-5-5=15.

Nicole and Derek will round off the evening with a Quickstep dressed as Navy folks who are “slacking off.” The 10s last week make Nicole nervous, because “where do we go from here?” They go to practice on a boat, and she stands on a platform on the boat “Titanic” style, with Derek behind her, but when Nicole bends over her butt clobbers Derek in the face and he goes flying. Nicole is looking forward to having fun, with a slapstick-type dance, but she’s getting frustrated - although Derek says she’s just as scared as everyone else and needs to lighten up. Their dance is fun, and goes with their story - they toss their mops and dance around the floor. Obviously he was watching the judges, because Tom says “I hope you absorbed all that applause because here comes the whooping.” Len says they took the title of the song too literally (“Anything Goes”) because he got the story, but no Quickstep. “You broke the rules, the hold, it was all Vaudeville - you had a lift.” Bruno said as a performance it was incredible, but he agrees with Len that they should have at least kept the hold all the way through. Carrie Ann says “Lift? Eh. Broke the hold? Eh. You take that on the road, and I’ll have a front row seat.” Nicole says that they just wanted to have fun, and didn’t want to disrespect anyone. Their scores are an eclectic conundrum: 8-6-9=23. (How did Bruno give them a 9 after that review?)

After the judges’ scores, here is the leader board:

26 - Evan & Anna
23 - Nicole and Derek
23 - Erin & Maks
21 - Jake & Chelsie
21 - Niecy & Louis
21 - Pam & Damien
20 - Chad & Cheryl
20 - Aiden & Edyta
15 - Kate & Tony
13 - Buzz & Ashly

So will Buzz rightfully go home tomorrow or are we going to put Tony out of his misery? Or will this be another someone-else-goes-home week? Make sure you vote and tune in tomorrow to see who gets axed!

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