Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Our Comedy Queen Leaves the Dance Floor

Results night! Double the dances and double the pressure! The stage is set for the Semi Finals! LIVE! From Hollywood! This is Dancing With the Stars!!

And WTF is Brooke wearing? It looks like tin foil with a dead animal pelt on one shoulder and wrapping around to the bottom. No crazy hair lady this season, but there sure is a mad dress designer!

Len’s recap: he liked Evan’s dancing - but then he didn’t. Evan & Anna confused Mr. Cranky Pants last night. Erin’s Argentine Tango was fantastic, but her Rumba wasn’t. Niecy and Chad are the pretenders - Chad’s posture in the Tango wasn’t better, but his 60's Jive was jumping. Niecy’s Viennese Waltz was lovely, but he was concerned about her Paso Doble. According to Len, Niecy is “the little engine that could.” Len was mesmerized by Nicole’s Fox Trot. The 50's Paso Doble was genius. And that will be the judges’ choice for the Encore - and I can’t blame them. It is a very, very good dance! Tom tells us next season they’re going to make Derek choreograph a Quickstep from the Renaissance period.

DanceCenter tonight! We see a commercial as Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice and Len are walking across the stage and leaving for the night. They say good night to Nicole as she’s wiping the dance floor, telling her she missed a spot.

Cheryl and Tony have choreographed a Paso Doble and it’s featured in the upcoming “Toy Story 3" film. The Gypsy Kings will be singing the song and we see Tony and Dmitry dancing. Kym comes out to dance with Dmitry, and it looks like they stole a move from Erin & Maks - Kym’s jump onto Dmitry looks eerily familiar! Here comes Cheryl to dance with Tony.

This is DanceCenter! Jerry Rice is wearing a blonde wig and Kenny isn’t wearing sparkly makeup. First off they analyze Niecy - she’s 5'5" and likes to eat food. She’s president and CEO of myjigglyparts.com. Kenny says she’s one of the rare contestants to gain weight during the competition. Chad is next, he’s got the softest lips in the world. He could get a lip balm deal and call it “Chad-Stick.” (*rolling eyes*) Kenny starts to say that he might be the best wide receiver, till Jerry shows off his three Super Bowl rings. Kenny talks about giving Cheryl the jewelry, and says “it’s amazing that he gave Cheryl that ring when he doesn’t have one himself” which gives Jerry another opportunity to show off his three Super Bowl rings. Nicole is talented but her talent may be her downfall, since Derek pushes her to the limit. She has disgusting habits - she spits gum into Derek’s mouth and smells her armpits. They rattle off some of Derek’s beautiful partners, and include Mark Ballas in that group. HA!

We find out that Nicole & Derek are safe (duh). The first couple in the Bottom Two is Chad & Cheryl. (Kinda duh).

We’re being treated to the first College Dance-Off Championship between University of California San Diego and Purdue University (GO BIG TEN!) The UCSD team includes scientist and engineering majors - nerds who love to dance. Their team is dancing the Samba. Not much hip action, and their synchronicity is off. I like the ending, though. The judges will comment. Len says one of the keys to team dancing is pattern changing, and they were fantastic at it, but one or two times the lines weren’t clear. Bruno says they tried intricate formations and they need to work on them, but all in all a good dance. Carrie Ann loved the transitions between the patterns, but they need bigger movements. Their scores are 8-8-8=24, which count for half of the total scores; viewer votes will count for the other half.

After the commercial Purdue is up to dance. One of its members, Kris, joined to meet girls. They’ll be dancing the Mamba. I’m watching and thinking that the winning team should have the pros choreograph a dance for them, these have seemed a little ho-hum. Purdue was better, though. Bruno gets to begin and says there’s plenty of hip action practice in Purdue. They have a couple of timing issues, and there wasn’t enough changing patterns. Carrie Ann thinks Purdue has great spirit. They were stylized and pizzazy, but they need more pattern changes. Len tells Kris that he started dancing for the same reason - girls. What they did, they did great, but he redundantly says they need to change patterns. Their scores: 8-7-7=22.

The Gypsy Kings will perform again, their worldwide hit. Okay, I never heard it. Sounds good, though. I don’t recognize the dancers, and Tom just says “guest pro dancers.”

DanceCenter again. They’ll skewer Evan next. He’s the first one to get a 10 out of Len. They love his hair and show people with hair like his - and put Evan hair on Obama in a picture. Len is wearing an Evan wig too! They say he’s bursting with energy and enthusiasm and then all fall asleep during an interview. Erin works for the same company as Kenny, so he’s going to step back and not comment...well, never mind. Kenny says Maks is not Russian, but from the Ukraine, and tells Erin to stop by the geography hall the next time she’s visiting a college campus. Len wants them to stop bickering and work as a team. Jerry says Nicole will win, but Kenny says that the hungriest contestant is Niecy, so she will win.

More results ... the next couple safe is Evan & Anna. Of course, the remaining couples sweat out the commercial before learning their fates. Niecy is wearing those mega eyelashes again. Erin & Maks have made it to the Semi Finals, leaving Niecy & Louis in the Bottom Two with Chad & Cheryl. Niecy & Louis will be leaving and Chad looks like he’s ready to pass out. Niecy says she proved something, being a 40-year old mother with three c-sections. Tom says he expected the bombastic Niecy but she and Louis were very elegant at times. Their retrospect has Niecy saying their relationship is like a cheeseburger with curly fries on the side. Louis tells her he is a mirror so Niecy can look at him and see the truth. She quips “when did I become a white man?” She’s so funny! Niecy wants her last song to be something “so we can get crankin’ here!” I’m really going to miss her!

So next week, the Semi Finals, and the week after, the Mirrorball Trophy will be awarded! Does Nicole have it locked up or can Evan or Erin be a dark horse? Can Chad wow everyone and stay in the game till the end?

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