Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Yes, Folks, There is a God, and He Hates Kate Too!

LIVE!!!!!! It’s Dancing With the Stars! The Results! And at least Brooke is wearing a cute dress tonight.....

Tom tells us that we are going to find out who’s at the top and at the bottom. We continue the no-nonsense beginning to the show as all the couples are assembled on the stairs and Nicole & Derek and Kate & Poor Tony are called to the stage. Wow, I wonder which couple is which? Yep, you guessed it - Nicole & Derek are safe, and Kate & Poor Tony are in the Bottom Two.

Len gives us a report on last night’s dances. He thinks Erin did very well. Jake has become a leading man - and backstage, Chelsie laughs about Jake “coming out in your underwear in front of 22 million people.” Pam didn’t have enough content - it was a trailer, not a feature film. Those three, according to Len, are “the best of the worst and the worst of the best,” stuck in the middle. Niecy was a little bit lackluster and Chad’s Quickstep lacked “wow” power. “Kate, if your Foxtrot had been a movie, I’d have walked out.” Backstage she says “Maybe the judges can’t see it, but I know I’m improving.” (The rest of the viewing audience doesn’t see it either, Boopsie!) Len loves the battle between Nicole and Evan. Evan’s Rumba was a high standard - but Nicole’s Tango was “epic.” Derek & Nicole run screaming with delight into the confessional room, and Derek falls over the chair.

Len and Carrie Ann wanted to see a different encore dance, but Len says “for Bruno, he wants to see some tighty whities” so they want to see Chad and Chelsie. (I SWEAR that’s what he said!) Contrary to Len’s introduction, Jake and Chelsie come out and yes, Jake is again in his underwear. During the dance there is some “adjusting” as Chelsie tries not to let her boobs fall out of her dress. Tom quips that “Jake was worried about exposing the wrong thing.”

The first singing act is Maxwell - sorry, folks, blasted through it because I watched the Red Wings defeat Phoenix (a 3-0 shutout!), and it’s getting late and I still have LOST to watch.

Brooke and Tom go through the standings after the judges’ scores, and of course Kate & Poor Tony are last and in her confessional, Kate says “We’re not gonna give up, we’re going to keep working just as hard.” (Tony has a look of resignation, like he’s looking for a knife to fall on). Pam says “No more props, I promise. Just these” as she grabs her boobs.

The next couples to come down from the stairs are the two who tied with 18 points: Chad & Cheryl and Niecy & Louis. Chad & Cheryl are “still in jeopardy” and will hear their fate “later.” Niecy & Louis are safe, and Niecy jumps for joy (and Louis looks pretty doggone happy too. I know I am, I really like Niecy!)

Macy’s Stars of Dance are going to do a tribute to the movies. We hear from the choreographer who did the three Austin Powers movies and is helping with the new Fame movie. Debbie Allen will recreate her Fame dance, along with three other movie dances.

After the break, Kate and Chad get interviewed by Brooke and Kate again tells us that she’s having fun “contrary to popular belief.” (I have more fun at funerals.) “I’m giving my best.” (Oh, good grief. I could do better than that being 40 pounds overweight, out of shape, and SLEEPING!!!!) Chad is frustrated with his low scores, and he’s like a “nuke man.” I think that’s what he said (even after multiple hearings). Huh?

Adam Corolla gets to come back because his first bit went so well .... after hearing Niecy talk about “thick girls” a few times, he says “that’s nice, but I didn’t dedicate all my dances to Italians that are mistaken for Jews.” He tells Pam “a true champion doesn’t need props” but we see Adam riding the unicycle, which he blamed on Julianne. He mentions the 6-6-6 scores last night, and says “the dark lord is among us, and his name is Bruno!” His favorite dance was Kate - “and now let’s watch it at regular speed.”

Now comes Macy’s Stars of Dance. Don’t know what movie “Puttin’ on the Ritz” is from, but it was a cool dance! Ooh, now it’s Saturday Night Fever. Shades of John Travolta! (And I just caught a few minutes of that movie over the weekend, and I can admit I’ve never seen it. I will rent it, soon). Austin Powers comes next, oh, behave! Debbie Allen is NOT dancing (and looks like she hasn’t danced in a while, actually) but the Fame dancing is good anyway. After all that hype about Debbie Allen being on the show, she says three sentences? Wow, I’m impressed. (Not!)

The next singing act is Debbie Nova from Costa Rica. She’s got Tony, Derek, Damien, and Dmitry dancing with her as she sings, and she kinda looks like Jessica Simpson. Not bad, but I zipped through that too.

Next week the celebrities get to design the costumes for their dance. Niecy is looking forward to “torturing” Louis. Tony thinks it’s not a privilege the show should give the stars. Evan tells Anna to go have a drink, “it’s gonna get ugly in here.” Nicole asks “who wouldn’t want to see Derek in some Spandex?” Niecy wants to coat Louis in chocolate.

The next two highest-scoring couples get to hear their fates next. Evan & Anna are safe, and Jake & Chelsie are “still in jeopardy.”

Brooke is backstage with the three safe couples. Derek says Nicole works really hard in rehearsal. Evan worked hard last week also. Niecy was asked about keeping up with Evan and Nicole, and she says “I’m just gonna stay in my lane and enjoy myself.” Louis says Niecy has a hectic schedule in the upcoming week so he’s bringing oxygen tanks and more food - “whatever it takes to keep her going.”

More results to come: Erin & Maks and Pam & Damien are invited to the front of the stage. Erin & Maks are safe. Pamela & Damien are “still in jeopardy.” PLLLEEEEEAAASSSSEEEE tell me no matter who joins Kate & Poor Tony in the Bottom Two, it will be Kate going home!!!!

After the commercial, we have to see more of last night’s dances before we get to find out who goes home. Oh, jeeze, get on with it already! Okay, who will join Kate & Poor Tony in the dreaded Bottom Two? Jake & Chelsie are ... safe! Chad & Cheryl are also safe! They both look amazed! (Cheryl didn’t hear the announcement). That leaves Pam & Damien in the Bottom Two, and we get to hear the judges talk nice about Pam and Kate. Carrie Ann says Kate is “a housewife who is out here like a lot of women want to be, and I love your determination, and you’re no quitter.” (She didn’t even start, how can she quit something she didn’t start?) Bruno says Pamela brings a “fantastic interpretation to every dance” and thinks people are crazy that she’s in the Bottom Two because she can dance. “It’s not right.” Len is asked what is lost if either goes home, and says “whoever goes, it’s a real disappointment.” (Oh, please, God, send Kate, send Kate!) Cue the music......and PRAISE THE LORD!!!! It’s Kate & Poor Tony. Brooke asks Kate what she takes away from the experience, and she starts tearing up, and Poor Tony jumps in with a very complimentary and gentlemanly speech about how proud he is of her, and he knows how hard his wife works with only three children, and Kate is a single mother with eight kids, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Kate says she met a lot of wonderful people and had a great teacher, and she’s grown to love everyone. At least she can be semi-convincing.

Tom says “we were going to go to a package but let’s just talk.” He asks her about her determination, and she says she really gave her all and she was scared to death most of the time. As they go for their “last dance” no-longer-Poor Tony hugs her and looks the happiest I’ve seen him in weeks!

Okay, now that she’s out of the way, we can get away from the drama and lackluster dancing and start getting into the nitty gritty! Until next week, when again, we dance LIVE!!!!!

No comments:

WARNING: Big Brother Spoilers!

We watch the current season of Big Brother on CBS, Big Brother After Dark, and the Feeds. We watch all Big Brother 18 coverage and DVR it and watch it again. There will be posts about things we have seen from watching Big Brother 24/7. If you are a casual viewer of the CBS show-only or do not want to read any spoilers, do not read our posts dealing with After Dark and the Live Feeds.