Monday, April 26, 2010

Sexy Samba, Smoldering Argentine Tango ... and then a Swing Dance Marathon!

Another chance to make Dancing With the Stars the most-watched show of the week! And it’s LIVE!!!!! From Hollywood!

Erin & Maks come down the stairs and he’s pointing at Erin with a thumbs up. She does look quite fetching! The last couple down the stairs is Pam & Damien, and she’s in a brown wig! Actually doesn’t look too bad, either! Tom says “we’re missing a blonde.” We’re at the halfway point of the season, and our seven couples look ready to go!

Tonight the couples have to do two dances - the Argentine Tango or Samba, and then compete in a Swing Marathon where lifts will be allowed.

Jake & Chelsie will begin with a Samba. Chelsie took Jake to meet some Samba dancers to get into the swing of things. He’s going to work really hard so he can prove he’s a contender. Jake begins the dance with a walk where he might be trying to shake his hips, but looks like he has a stick up his butt. What is his deal? He slips again in the middle of the routine, bumping into the steps by the judges’ table. And then Chelsie does too! Sorry, Jake was getting better, but this doesn’t cut it for me. Maybe it’s the music. Len begins by telling Jake that he was more polished and he has more confidence, but his rhythm was lacking. Bruno agrees that it lacked rhythm and bounce. Bruno says his pelvic gyrations were okay, but he didn’t wiggle correctly. Jake protests that he didn’t have his dollar (Bruno threw one at him last week after whining that Jake put his pants back on) and Bruno told him to go back and get it. Carrie Ann says he trips because he pushes himself to the max. He needs to connect to the music to be on the top. They show a replay of Jake’s trip on the step and Tom asks if we “liked the salt-in-the-wound replay.” Their scores: 7-7-7=21.

Before the commercial, we see Erin & Maks arguing (what a surprise), Nicole getting frustrated, and Evan & Anna trying a flip and Evan landing on his head, hoping it’s not a concussion. They’re up next, so we’ll get the details soon....

Evan & Anna are dancing a Samba also. They start the week trashing talking about pressure. She tells him the hip action has to be much better than the Rumba, and laughs at his attempts. We see the flip Evan tries to do over Anna’s back, and he lands on the back of his head and his neck cracks. They go to the doctor, who tells him he has a mild concussion, but he should be okay, and Evan comes out with his head wrapped in an Ace bandage and tells Anna “they’re admitting me to the psych ward.” This is a much better Samba than Jake & Chelsie’s and yes, it is the music. Much more Samba-like. Evan’s got his hips going pretty good, and Anna has choreographed a lot of spins for him. He seems a little clumsy at times, though. Bruno says it’s nice to see “the little devil inside you.” But! Evan has good lyrical lines, but for the Samba it doesn’t work. His legs were turned out, and stopped his hips from moving the right way. Carrie Ann says sometimes he wins with the dances, and sometimes he loses, and with the Samba, he lost. His lines don’t suit this dance. Len says “I don’t want to be nasty, Evan, you know I don’t have a nasty bone in my body” (and Carrie Ann and Bruno start hooting). Len tells him that it’s a carnival dance, and it was more balletic, and didn’t suit him. It was his worst dance. Tom says “I enjoyed whatever it is you did.” Brooke asks him what the harsh criticism feels, and Evan is so PC, saying that the criticism is constructive and he has to work on his hips for the Latin dances. Their scores: 7-7-7=21. That’s a surprise after the comments, and it is Evan & Anna’s lowest score.

Going into the break, Tom says Niecy & Louis are going to do the first ever comedy Argentine Tango. I don’t have a good feeling about this, I hope it works out! I don’t want Niecy to go yet!

So here come Niecy & Louis. Louis is showing Niecy what to do with her leg, and she asks “who’s leg is gonna do that?” Niecy is great at kicking Louis trying to learn the proper steps. She gets it right and howls with laughter. They begin by Louis giving her a rose, which she bites into and spits out. During some leg flicks, she gets a kick up high and Louie acts as if he’s been kicked in the groin. He does a lift with her that’s pretty cool! At the end of the dance, she slides down Louis’ body as he munches a cookie and she reaches for it. He’s choking a bit on the cookie and everyone gets a good laugh out of it. Carrie Ann begins and after a long pause says “nice to see you dancing.” She had a new attitude in her dancing and her lines were strong. Carrie Ann wasn’t sure they’d go for a lift, and she’s glad they did. Niecy yells “can you believe he picked all this up?” Carrie Ann says they didn’t need the comedy, but Len says he liked it, because it didn’t interfere with the dance. Len tells us the Argentine Tango is about a lady of the night trying to get money, “but you were trying to get food.” He liked it. Bruno says “if you treat all of your men like that, stay away from my lunch box.” He thought she put a lot of work into her footwork, and it shows. In the Celebraquarium, Niecy is munching a cookie. Brooke asks Niecy about putting comedy into their routine, and Niecy says “comedy and food, two of my favorite things!” Their scores are getting redundant: 7-7-7=21. Tom says “tonight’s show is brought to you by the paddle 7.”

Erin & Maks are dancing a sexy Samba. Erin is having problems keeping up with Maks, and wants to do it even though Maks has all the experience. She’s doing a great job, and starts messing up so Maks tells her “you were doing great and then you started thinking.” Erin says she over-analyzes everything. She thinks that what she did wasn’t right, which sets Maks off. “It’s not about what you think, it’s about what I think! How do you know unless you receive a confirmation?” He says her over-analyzing isn’t affecting Erin’s learning, it’s affecting his health. “I’m gonna get institutionalized after this season.” She’s wearing a very Edyta-like dress, nude on top except for some well-laced purple rhinestones, and a great purple feather skirt. It looks as if Maks is going to tear off the feathers, but Erin rips off his sleeves. A couple steps later, Maks rips off his shirt. (Time out for a cold amongst yourselves.) Len says “from week one, I’ve given you a seven. You’re getting another one, and you should be getting eights, nines and even tens.” Both Tom and Carrie Ann ask “how will she get one if you don’t give them to her?” Len says this is how, and yells at Maks. “I’m fed up with shirts coming off, (SHUT UP LEN) she’s a good dancer and she should be competing.” Maks tosses his shirt at Len and asks the crowd “I think that was an amazing Samba. What?” And the audience goes wild! Bruno yells that she did dance a proper dance, she didn’t choreograph it. Her arm placement was spot-on, and it’s one thing Bruno has criticized her for all season. It was exciting, it had aggression and it was like a “girl who likes to be on top.” Carrie Ann says it is one of the most difficult dances to get, and raises from her seat as she tells Erin “you got it!” Both Erin & Maks plant a big kiss on Tom. Brooke says it’s like none of the judges were watching the same dance. Their scores: 9-7-9=25. Erin & Maks are very happy! Tom thinks the problem is that Len forgot to bring the other paddles this week!

Chad & Cheryl will dance an Argentine Tango next. He felt the judges were really hard on him so he’s going back to Cincinnati to refocus. He shows up for the Bengals’ draft party, where they interview a fan who says “Chad is the best dancer. I don’t know what the judges are seeing.” (A little less beer, guy.) Chad says “the Argentine Tango is all about chest and hips pressed together. I think I’m gonna like that.” Cheryl wants Chad to learn how to lead - she says “manhandle me.” (You’re actually giving him that permission? Crazy woman!) Cheryl is doing a lot of the work for this dance, but at least when Chad moves, he’s doing a good job. I like the move with Cheryl rubbing her body up his crotch as she rises from the floor - bet that boy has a hell of a hard-on right now! Bruno calls it “the revenge of Ochocinco! Strong, powerful, demented.” He was hard on Chad because “I knew you had it” and tonight he proved he could actually dance. Carrie Ann says they were hard on Chad because he wasn’t dancing, but tonight, “you nailed it.” It was arrogant and sensual, and his lines were great. Len tells Chad “on Dancing With the Stars, you either grow, or you go, and tonight you grew.” We get their scores: 8-8-8=24. It’s their highest score so far! Chad likes that he could take charge for a change, since Cheryl has been leading him so far.

Nicole & Derek’s turn next! They will Samba, and Nicole is excited to do Ricky Martin and Gloria Estefan moves. She’s having problems with the Samba’s technical aspects. Nicole is another person who is over-analyzing, talking about what side Derek is on, where the camera angles will be, and she’s getting crazy. My hunny yells that Derek didn’t choreograph this for his partner, and looks like he’s more concerned with making himself look good. I don’t think that’s entirely true, but Derek does look like he’s showing off quite a bit. Time for judging! Carrie Ann yells “opa! I don’t even know what that means!” (Len is backing away from Carrie Ann, and I’m thinking she’s in the wrong part of the earth). She says that she was looking for something to criticize and all she can say is sometimes Nicole gets a weird look on her face. Len shows us that Mr. Crankypants hasn’t gone far and bursts the bubble by saying Carrie Ann is misinformed. He says the difficulty level and the performance was great. The line at the end had ugly legs, and he tells Derek that he judges the Samba on valtas and botafogos (don’t even try and bother me about the spelling!), and he didn’t see one. We see Bruno bringing his jaw up off the table and he yells “you are one singular sensation!” He tells Nicole “you have nothing to worry about.” Their scores: 9-7-10=26. Tom says Len is appearing at the Comedy Stop tonight, because he’s a “laugh riot.”

Pam & Damien will dance an Argentine Tango. She loves the dance because it’s a very sexy dance. She really wants to get this dance right. Damien is happy about the lifts, but Pam keeps anticipating them and “jumping” into them. I’m noticing that in that brown wig, Pam looks a lot like Sophia Loren (her eyes are very smoky looking). Before the break, we see some clips of everyone practicing the Swing Dance lifts, and see Evan landing on his head again. Ouch! Enough! The dance begins and it’s very sultry and sexy. Pam really does well! She actually has the foot action and her posture is good. Len says the Argentine Tango is about seduction, and Pam does seduction very well. She got the flavor of the dance, although it was a bit scruffy here and there. Bruno says it’s another great character from Pamela, “the blossom ready to be plucked but not without a fight.” He loves to see that she’s not just dancing, but living the part. (He’s spot on with that!) Tom tells Bruno “sometimes you’re just weird.” Carrie Ann loves the commitment to the character, but says while Pam’s upper body was convincing, the lower body and legs weren’t great. Wow! A side view of Pam shows she has one heckofa shelf there! Brooke asks Pam about being in the bottom two, but always coming back with a fighting spirit, and Pam gives the camera the sexy eyes and says breathlessly “I like to be on top.” She enjoys learning the dances. Their scores: 7-7-8=22.

Next is the Swing Dance Marathon! All the couples will begin at the same time, and the judges will knock them out one by one. We see everyone practicing. Niecy says “the Swing Dance Marathon is the survival of the fittest. I wish it was the survival of the jiggliest, because I know I could win that one.” She’s panting something fierce. Chelsie likes Jake’s strength and thinks that they have an advantage (although I think Chad might be a bit stronger). Chad has a board, showing Cheryl X’s and O’s and trying to develop a strategy. “Niecy, we have to find a way to take her food from her. Erin, we don’t have to worry about because trees can’t dance.” (Huh?) Tom is backstage watching on a monitor as the couple take their places and begin dancing. This is one dance where the female celebrities are wearing tennis shoes, but the female pros have heels. Jake & Chelsie are the first ones out, and get 4 points. Chad rips his shirt off and jumps over Cheryl to the audience cheers. Louie lifts Niecy over his back and collapses under her (on purpose) but it’s not impressing the judges, and they’re the next couple to go. Evan & Anna have to go next, and they get 6 points. Chad & Cheryl get the boot now for 7 points. It looks like the remaining couples choreographed their dances better. Pamela & Damien go next, leaving Nicole & Derek and Erin & Maks. Erin & Maks are told to leave (even though I like their dancing better) and Nicole & Derek get the 10 points for winning. Tom and Brooke call Nicole & Derek over for the judges’ comments, and they compliment all the couples for their lifts and stamina.

So here are the standings after the judges’ scores:

36 - Nicole & Derek
34 - Erin & Maks
31 - Chad & Cheryl
30 - Pam & Damien
27 - Evan & Anna
26 - Niecy & Louis
25 - Jake & Chelsie

So there’s a little moving around this week in the judges’ scores ... make sure you vote and keep your favorites dancing!

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