Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Americas Next Top Model Cycle 11 Episode 3

Previously: Sharaun was stupid. McKey punches. Marjorie gets stereotypical French music.

Hey opening sequence! Very Tyra centric, when isn’t it though? I like the shot of Tyra going to some lackey, “Edit This!!!!!” It’s probably about photoshopping her thighs. All the girls in their hippy-wear really don’t make sense in this context. Especially Sheena who looks like she just did the same exact pose for all her pictures; I like the girl but she needs direction.

Any who, the girls are reeling from their first elimination. Majrorie is happy to see her picture, with random adjectives next to it. Nikeysha’s New Year Resolution? Shut up. Heyyy! Let’s see how long she lasts.

Tyra Mail – I don’t care about the message, what is up with the Tyra shots? Bending over backwards of course means Benny Ninja in some insane green neon. Some random model is contorted into a box. The Australian model can extreme pose. Kinky. Sheena is popped in a “hoochie” pose as an example of her flexibility. The girls have to pose in large red pantyhose. Hannah is confused and Nik is in pain and she talks back to Benny. Don’t talk back to Mr. Ninja. (Op! She just broke her New Years Resolution!) Isis’s face is not to par. Bree liked Sheena, but I’m not sure if it’s just because she’s a hooch.

The girls read yet another mail about how to put the lesson to hand. All the girls get into the pool. Heyyyy! Sheena does a “dance” dare. What? I want to hang out with these girls and do dares; they’d probably dare me to iron a shirt. Sheena says, “I’m not a hooch” as she booty pops. I love editors. Clark kisses Elina and there are fireworks! I totally would suggest everyone to kiss someone of the same sex one day, it’s not bad. Hannah is outcasted and clearly she wouldn’t like me either. She pushes Isis, I’m not sure how violently, but she needed her space. Wait a second, aren’t two girls right next to her shoulders? Oh well. Maybe at home Hannah is not allowed to have boys and girls in the same hot tub. Sheena and Brittany try to talk to Hannah, and Hannah says that she was a stereotypical white girl who thinks that Black girls are all, “Heyyyy!” I guess this house really doesn’t help her stereotypes. She then cries, and Tyra sneaks in to drink her tears; it keeps her young.

The girls all talk about Hannah’s situation. Isis get’s Analeigh’s help to inject herself. She becomes a chicken to support Isis. I really was expecting, maybe holding hands.

The girls are now at their challenge. It’s a jewelry/handbag challenge. The prize? A handbag full of girly things! Lauren (Brie!) did meh. Isis, is still reeling from the shot. Britney/McKey and Samantha make silly poses. Joslyn and Analeigh use toe poses. Nik says something about pee. Then she is frazzled. Elina is fierce albeit stiff. Sheena is all “feng shui” putting the bag in her crotch. Clearly in the “feng shui” book she read said, “Place things with big prizes near your big prize.” Elina wins the challenge. I think it’s all about the face that sold it for me.

Tyra Mail! There’s a lot of mail this year. Challenge tomorrow.

The “ethnic” girls are nervous of Hannah. Sheena’s mental dictionary kicks in with the word “discrimination”. Joslyn pops it out asking about racism. Hannah denies and walks into the kitchen to cry. Analeigh is seriously getting Ms. Congeniality tonight.

MLAACV: Whitney talks about her mom. And her mouth is still gaped open as she stares at New York. At least she’s not actually doing… you know, model-y things.

Hannah is being edited badly. That’s all I’ll say. The girls get on their bus and get out to see a hot air balloon. Jay pops up and explains the shoot today. Ladder! Clark gets an interview and I forgot who she was.

Sutan helps explain a mind frame for the girls. I really do like Sutan this year, his editing makes sense. Isis practices in the mirror. We’re introduced to Mike Ruiz. Mike Ruiz did the photos with the superheroes in season 5. He really needs to redeem himself, because that really wasn’t impressive. I blame those models.

Lauren (Brie!) gets nervous as she stares at the men holding the balloon. It gets too windy so they use a crane. Lauren poses well. Not Cheesy (Heyyy!). Elina has fierce eyes so it doesn’t matter what her pose looks like. Hannah says the racist stuff again. The “ethnic girls” still keep talking crap.

Analeigh is stiff. Sheena gets hoochy. She holds the ladder with her booty. Amazing, if she can climb a ladder with her booty, she should apply for The Amazing Race. Isis struggles and has poo-face in the 10 seconds we’re given of her. Nik’s panties are showing. She is worried about falling. Seriously, there’s a mat. I’d fall on it. Brittany looks like she was just normally climbing the ladder. Joslyn is good. 13 tryouts must make her want to work it. Clark looks too short. Hannah is nervous. She loses her neck. Samantha walks in and doesn’t work the dress. McKey has a smirk that she needs to find. Stop moving. Marjorie is so amazing that they used about 10 seconds of her shoot.

Hannah is nervous. Tyra Mail! Sheena tries to be funny and tell all the other girls to go home. I think that’s because she know’s that she won’t get that horrible bleach-pee blond because Tyra makes all the Asian girls have “fierce edgy cuts”.

There are some random shots of Tyra playing with rope and her faux-photoshoot photo. Tyra rambles off the prizes and the judges. Ms. Jay’s shtick is a necklace with the numbers.

Analeigh looks okay, but thinks in her pic. Samantha’s dress makes her look fat. Hanna’s shot is a little angle-y . Nik needs to eat. Her face is nice, but her poses are bad. Lauren (Brie!)’s shot is amazing and its actually one we saw. McKey’s pose is great but her face moved. Clark’s skin tone is questionable, but her face is good in the shot. Isis looks pedestrian, but her shot looks okay. Paulina doesn’t like it. Marjorie get’s a French music and her photo is amazing. Elina’s shot is sexy. Sheena still looks hooch. Her shot is good except for her boobs. Brittany looks like the most normal. Joslyn is last and her shot is fierce and angry. Sheena comes back and talks about the breasts. They aren’t real. Duh, I only knew one Asian girl with breasts and they were HUGE! *Ahem* Where was I? Oh yeah, Sheena is commended for having fake boobs and admitting it.

Where are they now? Shannon is still in Elite and still models. She’s also married to a model.

The judges deliberate. They talk about makeovers a little. Nigel’s edit for Hannah almost shows that some judges don’t know what’s happening. They talked about hooch and Sheena. Crotch shots! Isis needs to bend an arm.

The best photo this week is: Lauren (Brie!) an amazing shot for week 2, Elina, Joslyn, Marjorie, McKey, Samantha, Sheena (who is shocked), Hannah, Clark, Brittany, Analeigh.

Nik and Isis. Nik suffers from Heyyy! and talks too much… and Saleisha hair. Isis suffers from bad poses and doesn’t look like a model. Isis is safe. Nik talks over Isis’s critique. Bitch. She walks it out. (Hey this isn’t Dance Crew) She cries and I look at two photos and realize she’s meh. She talks over the fadeout and the black screen. Amazing.

Next Week: Screaming. Makeovers! Elina looks scared. I think I’ll do something with my hair to celebrate. Maybe a Hillary Clinton 90’s-headband.

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