Last Week: A lot of dances that I can’t remember. Jeffery and Ted went home.So we have the Paso & the Rumba. You know, I always thought it’d be easier if they took the eliminated people off of the opening sequence. It would save us about 10 seconds. Tom and Samantha introduce our “stars”. Everyone is looking quite steamy this week. Well, except for Lacey who looks like a really ugly drag queen. We have 11 stars. Apparently they have four days. I really think that in the five weeks of training all the dancers learn the basics of all the dances. Len fears that putting the hard dances early is a bad thing. I know.
Toni & Alec – Alec promised to sing for Toni if she made it past week one he’d sing. He butchers “Unbreak My Heart” and she gets up and saves him. It seems like training went well though. As they dance, I’m a little disappointed that she couldn’t rumba to her own music. Are lifts a no-no still this season? I don’t recall. Anywho, in one turn Alec lifts. The dance overall is quite sexy. Toni has the lines. And long tracks of weave this week. Len is quite surprised how good the dance was; although there were parts bad. Bruno used the words “mistress” and “pitched”; he like Len wanted Basics. Carrie Ann pointed out 2 lifts and compared her dancing to her singing. Lift Police! I want a lift police badge. The scores are 7, 8, and 8. Two 8’s with a lift? A 23’s not too bad.
Brooke & Derrick – Last week Brooke was in the lead, but she now feels pressured to continue. They got the Paso Doble. To get the intensity of Paso, Derrick brought her to Karate class. She kicks his “pads”. I love how every Paso is the same outfit, I mean they are all dramatic. They are dancing to what sounds like the ….DeBeers theme song. Forgive me for being ignorant. Brooke is quite good though. Oh I love cape & dress flailing. Carrie Ann was mesmerized, but she pointed out a little bit of off balance. Len was happy about the amount of aggression, but didn’t like the little cheesy opening posing and the cape flailing. Bruno uses the words “Artistry” and “Timing”. The scores are three 8s.
Rocco & Karina – Rocco’s hips aren’t that amazing, but he’s convinced that it’s good. The Rumba is being a challenge since Rocco can’t control his emotions. Rocco decided to cook with her. I want someone to feed me with emotion. Unless it’s like Like Water for Chocolate where everyone vomits, cries and combusts. They begin their dance doing some cheesy cooking routine. Rocco still seems a little stiff to me and I almost feel bad for Karina because she is quite good. I’m not sure if there was a lift or not so I’m going to ignore it. It was okay, but not good. Bruno points out that he was a “Thing” walking around and he choked. Carrie Ann points out a lack of musicality. Len said “it wasn’t tasty”. Okay… The scores are 5, 6, and 5. Len being nicer? Odd.
Lance & Lacey – Len is too old, but Lance is still trotting on. Lance and Lacey don’t want a cape or really Paso outfits. I guess he just doesn’t want to compare to Joey’s Star Wars Routine. Lance starts on the stems and calmly walks down. Hahaha, they are dancing to “I Kissed a Girl”. How fitting. For not being a Paso, all the steps are there. I think Lance missed a few steps, but I’m going to ignore them. They end by making out. Apparently, one of Queer Eyes’ Fab Five was in the audience surprised. Len doesn’t think it works, he almost hated it. Carrie Ann thought it was “witty” and liked the choreography. Bruno thinks it’s trilling, but he needs the Paso arms. Somewhere there Len makes fun of Bruno and Bruno “curses”. I’m still not sure what he said, but ABC bleeped it out anyway. The scores are 7, 6, and 7.
Kim & Mark – Might I say, that their Mambo was bad, but good enough for Tom’s jokes. They have the rumba and Kim can’t keep from laughing at Mark. Mark pointed out that she was a host of the Pussycat Dolls show in Vegas. So Mark got Kim to call Robin Antin! God, I haven’t seen her face since Girlicious. Ouch, she’s still ugly. As they dance, the camera helps by not showing a lot of full body shots in important areas. Kim is still a little stiff, she really needs acting classes. Bruno used “Pussycat Dead” and “Colder than Siberia”. Len hopes that there’s something from her and he used the term “Gear in the Rear”. Carrie Ann wants her to watch playback, ugh I hated doing that, but it works. The scores are: 6, 6 and 5.
Misty-May & Maks – The dances last week weren’t bad, but her attack needs to be toned down. Misty was still finishing her Volleyball season. Her coach tells Maks to push her hard. Maks is being quite aggressive to her and I think he broke her for a second there. I think it’s good for her though. They Paso to Franz Ferdinand. Her kicks have a lot of attack to it and although there’s intensity in the eyes there’s a little bit of vacancy. I like the flip a lot. Carrie Ann points out how she loves the commitment and how Maks pushed her harder than anyone. Bruno calls her “Xena” and reiterates about shoulders and knees. Len thinks it was a “good attempt” and points out the vacancy in the eyes; he needs connection. The scores are 7, 7, and 7.
Maurice & Cheryl – The couple has the Rumba and Maurice is talking about his game. He has a little bit of trouble getting his hips. Cheryl brings him to a belly dancing performance. I’m not sure if it helped, but he was quite impressed by the ladies. I like the irony of the ecology in the song and them wearing green. Cheryl is still quite amazing and Maurice is keeping up with her choreography. I am just weirded out by the square that Cheryl is wearing. Len was disappointed because he lacks finesse. Carrie Ann thinks that there is something holding him back. Bruno thinks he was “rough and clunky” and that the belly dancing gave him a stomach ache. The scores are 7, 6, and 6.
Cloris & Corky – Cloris thinks that she was too into the whole thing, now she wants to be in it as long as possible. Corky has a heart to heart. They practice hard, but also put in a little bit of funny. Their Paso reminds me the most of Strictly Ballroom’s. It was quite controlled but very passionate. At the last drop, Cloris I think dropped her microphone pack, but I coulda sworn it was her emergency pendent. It turns out being her castanets. Bruno wants Eva Gardener. Len thinks it was quite traditional and good. Traditionalists. Carrie Ann calls her brilliant, but decided to decline to make a comment. The scores are 5, 5, and 5.
Susan & Toni – The cha-cha was too stiff, but the quickstep was good. Susan suffers from dancing and acting at the same time, but she talks to Cameron to bolster her. It’s all about the present, he says. I’m still not sure about the tiara thing. She unbuttons his shirt. I can see the acting in the eyes, but it just seems like the moves are boring to me. I know she’s doing well on her extensions and lines, but it just was a little slow. Even at the end, it looked like they ran out of time. Carrie Ann talks about being transported to “another world”. Bruno says it was good, everything was there, but she needs to be a cougar. Len disliked the unbuttoning, but liked the acting. The scores are 7, 7, and 7.
Warren & Kym – The Cha-Cha and Quickstep surprised me because of the fancy footwork. Warren keeps giggling through the whole way. Kym’s coaching seems to be doing well. As the dance starts I can’t help but think wow, Kym’s costume accentuates her huge breasts. Although I don’t understand the S&M outfits apparently it’s supposed to be Matrix. Does that make Kym Neo? They do quite an interesting spin closing sequence, but the end is a little odd to me when Warren jumps into Kim and drags her by the leg. Len likes the boobies and the intensity. Carrie calls him a “Paso Killa!” Bruno points out the footwork and timing of the music. Quite good. In the back they talked about how pleather sticks together. The scores are 8, 8 and 8.
Cody & Julienne – I really do think anyone older than 18 (even if they are 19) and think Cody is hot really looks like a pedophile because Cody looks 13, especially this week. Last week their dances weren’t too bad, but this week he has the Rumba. There is some silly sexy music and then he tries to impress Julienne; she thinks he as ADHD. As an actor, I really would hope that romance was something he could act. They Rumba to Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love. Although there is a part of me that reminds me of So You Think You Can Dance, the dance is quite sensual. Well, until Cody smirks. Dear Cody, don’t grit your teeth thinking that it’s manly. Bruno calls him a kid in a candy store, he needs more control though. Len thinks it lacked polish, but then I think he was talking about some “fire”, I was like, in his pants? Len wanted Carrie Ann to cover her eyes; so I’m not sure if they were joking or I’m just a dreamer. Carrie Ann liked the matching between the dancing and the music. It was “Age Appropriate”. Really? They are just in the mercy of the producers who give them that music. The scores are 7, 7, and 7. A 21 to close the night.
The rundown:
High:
Warren – 24
Brooke – 24
Toni – 23
Middle:
Cody – 21
Susan – 21
Misty-May – 21
Lance – 20
Low:
Maurice – 19
Kim – 17
Rocco – 16
Cloris – 15
Who Do I think should go home? Kim, I know she’s trying hard, but no.
Who Do I think will go home? Rocco, because he just doesn’t have Kim’s fan base.
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