Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Survived A Japanese Game Show: Episode 6

Last Week: Cathy got jostled, beaten with a huge powder-puff by a panda, and went home.

We return to Donnell coming back to the other contestants. He’s pissed. Not just pissed. “Super-Duper Pissed”. He keeps talking about a “silent alliance”. You can’t put things in words? Oral agreement. Donnell has a temper tantrum.

At home, Donnell keeps talking about a “silent” alliance. What? I think they were just being friends. And statistically speaking, the guys are stronger.

The next day is up and everyone gets prepped. They contemplate costumes and I’m sure that they haven’t thought of what’s next. They are put on the standby area as Meaghan gets all nervous.


The teams are brought out. The group game tonight is You Stand Still! No, You Stand Still! The one you kept seeing on the commercials. The little animation describes that our drag teams with spinning chairs, a balance beam, flour, spinners, keys, lock, spinning, and returning.

Donnell is nervous. Belinda sits down. Lucky. Hai! Majide!

The outfits tonight are a grooms and bride. The Japanese lady hands the dress to Donnell. He bugs. Andrew on the other hand is just taking it. Everyone is laughing at Donnell. I hope they are wearing boxer-briefs. The groups are brought out to massive amounts of laughter. Judge Bob declares that the Yellow Penguins are up first. Our host busts out into dance while they set up. As the spinning starts Andrew shouldn’t have extended his legs then pulled it out. Physics classes. You (theoretically) spin faster when you pull closer to your body. Like a figure skater. The two run to the center, Justin first. Andrew waddles over. They get the lock and keys. The first and second keys don’t work. The third kind of won’t work. Belinda screams from the sides. They eventually unlock and run back. I think they swirled and the key wouldn’t go in. They get 1:09.

Green Monkeys are up next. Meaghan is sporting the cummerbund. I hope that is, or else the pants are too high. Meaghan looks like she was going to puke. Times up and both start to crawl. As they spin Meaghan knocks her self off. Meaghan has trouble as Donnell is waiting. Meaghan’s lock is backwards. They unlock and start to run. Meaghan throws the key over. It lands in the flour. She panics and starts cursing for Donnell to grab it. They make it back.

Judge Bob tells the results. The Monkeys got it in 1:04. They win. Wow, that was close. They get the best reward, a stay at a luxury hotel, and a personal chef. The losers get to stay in a capsule hotel. That doesn’t sound like such a bad punishment. I actually want to do that. Justin relates it to a coffin. At least it has a TV.

The Yellow team must have been so high up until the crash, but theoretically they sandwiched their losses. Belinda is working her way to not get on. Andrew knows though that if they don’t pick.

The Greens get limoed, the Yellows get vanned. Tony! Hey! I missed you. Your eyebrows are too waxed. The two get VIP-ed around. With two waiters. Donnell looks like a rapper. Meaghan wants a “Pizza”. The chef looked at her like crazy. Meaghan also decides to touch everything since she is low class.

The Yellow team is brought to the capsules and a small man sits them on the little alcove and they eat bento boxes.

It seems like the Green team got more than one course. A lot of good food is shown, especially Meaghan’s pepperoni pizza. After eating they are brought to the “Presidential Suite”. This place is amazing.

On the other hand, the small Japanese man walks the three to their capsules. Andrew said “coffin”. Justin is a little too big. Belinda burns herself. Andrew is too fat for the pajamas they provided. I think I would fit just fine. They should make a couples capsule. That would be kinky.

The yellow team comes back to the house first. Pissed. Donnell and Meaghan come back apparently from a 12,000 dollar stay at the suite. The teams are brought to the soundstage. The teams have to change into a “karate” outfit. Andrew evilly tries to elbow a table and it doesn’t budge. Speaking of no budging, Belinda realizes if she doesn’t make a decision, Justin and Andrew will go up. Andrew decides to put himself up forcing Belinda to go up. Belinda claims that she will “brrrrrrring it”. Brrrrra!


The three are sent out and tell the host that Andrew and Belinda are up. The head to head elimination challenge is called Clothes On, Clothes Off! Well, well. This is a race and it involves clothes. I love the animation of a boy with the club. I don’t get it.

There is a special guest. Some professional clothes changer? He’s the fastest changer ever. Apparently if any of them beat him they get a prize.

The first costume is a construction worker. Andrew recalls his days hanging out at San Fransisco. Apparently the Champion is a twin. Hah! I love the trick. Belinda buzzes first. Andrew fidgets with the belt. Belinda is 2:09. Andrew is 2:18.

The second costume is the devil costume that was in the animation. There are 8 items. Belinda is getting quite fast. The twins play cards waiting for the two. He waddles back. Belinda runs over first followed by Andrew. Belinda is at 0:53. Andrew is at 0:57.

The third costume is little bo peep? Belinda figures it out. Wait a sec… didn’t I type “little bo peep” recently? Andrew has to do this costume “harajuku girl” 13 seconds faster. It’s another 8 items. Andrew is hauling ass. Belinda is having trouble with the leggings. Andrew doesn’t fully button up and is forced back. Belinda makes it first. I think Andrew is done and to make it worse he doesn’t fit in his harajuku outfit. Andrew did his best and was grateful. The sayonara mob comes in and they lift Andrew away as much as they could. It looks like a bad drunk party. Belinda kind of looks cute in her getup.

Sad incredible hulk music. Andrew bikes away? What? Where did this bike come from? Anywho, he walks finally with an umbrella. Heh. This show is silly.

Next Week: The Finale? Already? Wow. I can’t believe that this show was only 7 episodes long! No more teams! Running around? Sponges? Obstacle courses! I really wish they did the first round of Ninja Warrior.

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